Monday, October 05, 2009


I went to a baby shower yesterday. Let me tell ya, SOOOO FUN! Between the big black spider I found on my seat, the Nazi Aunt who deserved to get a bitch slap, and the bazillion AWWWWWWWW's over every single item the mom to be received....I HAD to get the hell out of there. I mean really, how many pacifiers, spoons, onesies, bibs, blankets, and booger suckers do you need to say AWWWWW over? Not to mention that the shower was on Sunday. SUNDAY!! Sunday=Football. Not baby showers. I suppose I've never been too comfortable in those social settings that are specifically designed for women. Why? Because I seriously can't stand most women. (present readers excluded) Don't get me wrong, I do love me a beautiful woman. But I've never been able to really connect with a lot of women. Some women, yes, but most, not so much. I guess I'm just a bitch like that.

I also wonder why baby showers are only for women. Especially since the baby is created by the Mom AND the Dad. The presents are for the baby, not the mom. I think it's a silly tradition that needs to go away. My baby shower was co-ed and it turned out great. I've already informed Joe that when we have a precious bundle of joy, our shower will be co-ed and he's going to be there too. He helped create it and if I have to sit through all of the AWWWWW's then so does he! I guess I'm just a bitch like that.

And why have bridal showers gotten away from giving sexy things to the bride? Why is the bride getting vacuum cleaners, blenders, coffee makers, towels, toasters, etc. for her BRIDAL gift? The gift that's ONLY supposed to be for her! Those kinds of gifts should be given as a wedding gift, NOT to the bride at her bridal shower. She needs crotchless panties, nippleless bras, floggers, garter belts and butt plugs! I guess I'm just a bitch like that.

Deep Throat of the Day: I'm feeling kinda bitchy today. Ya think?


Grant said...

I hope you shook things up and gave something sexy for the baby shower.

Jim McKee said...

I once had an idea for the male equivalent of the bridal shower: the tool bath.

All of the guys give the groom-to-be tools... hopefully, enough to fill up a bathtub.

I thought it was a great idea... but I couldn't find anyone who agreed with me.

Kira said...

My baby shower for Ariana was co-ed too. I wouldn't have had it any other way. Also, I primarily had male friends at that time, and if we left it to be only women, there'd be nobody there :P Yes, I understand your situation. I do have more female friends now than I ever have in the past, but that only happened after I went back to work when Ari was five.

And what the hell about a bridal shower that doesn't have lingerie or sex toys? A friend of mine had one just two weeks ago, and Penis Cookies were on the menu in addition to fun toys and lingerie. That's how it's supposed to be!

R said...

If and when you and Joe jump the broom, you can guarantee that you will both get a lovely butt plug from your friend in NY. :-D

KBear said...

Adrien's baby shower wasco-ed, but no guys showed up.. they didn't want to come to a "girly thing" - but my husband was there to help me (we threw it ourselves) and I even wrapped up a gift and gave it to him cause I got a few "just for mommy" gifts, and a friend got me a picture frame that was specifically for daddy and baby, which I thought was nice.

I got loads of house stuff for my bridal shower too. got some langerie, but not much

Randi said...

I always leave early from showers. I'm a bad friend.

I'm with you on the bridal shower thing... I don't want sexy clothes but pretty much everything I got was off the registry and for the kitchen. Too bad it's my husband that cooks.

Nikki said...

I'm with you on the woman thing,,never really had "girlfriends". I always got along better with the guys, of course,,because of jealous chicks,,,I was often thought of a snob or whore,,lol,,,who the hell cares.

I've never really liked showers either and never did have showers for either of my girls.