I went to a baby shower yesterday. Let me tell ya, SOOOO FUN! Between the big black spider I found on my seat, the Nazi Aunt who deserved to get a bitch slap, and the bazillion AWWWWWWWW's over every single item the mom to be received....I HAD to get the hell out of there. I mean really, how many pacifiers, spoons, onesies, bibs, blankets, and booger suckers do you need to say AWWWWW over? Not to mention that the shower was on Sunday. SUNDAY!! Sunday=Football. Not baby showers. I suppose I've never been too comfortable in those social settings that are specifically designed for women. Why? Because I seriously can't stand most women. (present readers excluded) Don't get me wrong, I do love me a beautiful woman. But I've never been able to really connect with a lot of women. Some women, yes, but most, not so much. I guess I'm just a bitch like that.
I also wonder why baby showers are only for women. Especially since the baby is created by the Mom AND the Dad. The presents are for the baby, not the mom. I think it's a silly tradition that needs to go away. My baby shower was co-ed and it turned out great. I've already informed Joe that when we have a precious bundle of joy, our shower will be co-ed and he's going to be there too. He helped create it and if I have to sit through all of the AWWWWW's then so does he! I guess I'm just a bitch like that.
And why have bridal showers gotten away from giving sexy things to the bride? Why is the bride getting vacuum cleaners, blenders, coffee makers, towels, toasters, etc. for her BRIDAL gift? The gift that's ONLY supposed to be for her! Those kinds of gifts should be given as a wedding gift, NOT to the bride at her bridal shower. She needs crotchless panties, nippleless bras, floggers, garter belts and butt plugs! I guess I'm just a bitch like that.
Deep Throat of the Day: I'm feeling kinda bitchy today. Ya think?