Friday, November 06, 2009

I lied

The other day I received this toy in the mail from Eden Fantasys for review. I excitedly opened the box, removed the toy and its components, put it together to make sure it worked, then put it back in the box. Joe's not feeling well so I figured we wouldn't be using it that night.

About 12:30 that night (technically morning) Ethan was at the foot of our bed, crying his eyes out because his ear was hurting him. He's been dealing with ear infections his whole life, so I know the pattern oh so well. His ears have become so desensitized that when it hurts, it's too late. Antibiotics won't work fast enough. All he can do is wait for the eardrum to rupture, which drains the fluid out of his ear through his ear canal. The good news is that it usually doesn't take long to rupture. The bad news is that rupturing causes scaring and scaring causes hearing loss.

I jumped out of bed and gave him Advil and a warm compress to try to ease the pain. I told him to go lay down on our couch and I would be right there to snuggle with him. After going potty, I made my way over to the couch when he held up this:

Ethan: "What is THIS?"
Me: (still half asleep with blurry vision and in the dark) "What is it?" (I couldn't see!)
Ethan: "I don't know. But it's gross."
Me: (clearing my eyes and seeing the box, not with a clear brain though.) "Oh yeah. I know."
Ethan: "Whose is it?"
Me: "Um, I don't really know."
Ethan: "Where did it come from?"
Me: "It just came in the mail. I don't know why though."
Ethan: "But what exactly is it?"
Me: "How am I supposed to know? Give it to me and let's snuggle."

In the morning when my head was more clear, I told him that I had ordered a pair of jeans on Ebay and maybe the lady I won them from sent me the wrong item. Later that evening I "confirmed" the story with him by saying that I had emailed the lady and she was very sorry and embarrassed for sending me the wrong thing. He bought it.

But DAMMIT if that kid doesn't find every toy I have. Even when I hide them, somehow, he finds them. This one wasn't hidden, as I left it on the coffee table in our basement. He never goes down there before I wake up. Figures. The one time I leave it out in the open, he'd come downstairs and find it. One day soon, he's going to be too old to buy my stories. I'm just going to have to gross him out and be like, "Listen kid, these are MINE and I LIKE THEM!!"

I hope everyone has a safe and fun weekend. Happy Friday!!

Deep Throat of the Day: 2 toy reviews coming to a blog near you. (one toy still not discovered by the child, sheeew)


Hubman said...

I can totally picture Ethan standing there and quizzing you!

I hope on these upcoming reviews is the Pure Wand you won from Dangerous Lilly. I wanted that for Veronica, you better like it! ;-)

Grant said...

I hope this time your product reviews come with a video. And an Asian woman.

Britni TheVadgeWig said...

Oh, yeah! I forgot you won the Pure Wand! It's my favorite toy of all time! I hope you love it!

And I am *not* looking forward to the day (if) I have kids and they find my toys for the first time.

Dewey's System said...

He's gonna figure it out one day that moms story about Ebay was totally shit and maybe he'll have a good laugh with that. I hope so. I for one, think its funny, but damn woman, hide that shit better. :) hope your weekend is good too and I hope his hear is better soon too.

f1trey said...

hehehe thats good.... at least hes good at finding things!! LOL

too much!!!!!

Southern Sage said...

as long as he doesnt catch u using it it shouldn't scar him!