Friday, February 12, 2010

Reflection

With today being the eve of my birthday, I've been thinking about how my life has panned out over my adulthood. I've made some poor decisions and some great ones and I've experienced good times and bad times. Fortunately, I'm smart enough to look at everything as a learning experience. I've been able to grow and find who I am, what I like, and what I want and need out of life.

However, there is something new about myself that I realized. I moved to Virginia from Florida in early August of 2000. I've always called Florida home because I never really felt like I belonged here. I've always felt different than the other people I met here. Maybe it was because I moved to a very small, country town which was VERY different than where I came from? Maybe it's because everyone who lives there has lived there their whole lives and already had their clicks of friends? I'm not sure exactly what caused me to feel that way, but I felt that way nonetheless. I wanted to feel like I belonged. I tried making friends with the women my ex-husband was friends with. I went to their bridal showers and baby showers, but that sense of belonging never came to be.

After I left my ex-husband, I seriously considered moving back to Florida. But I moved here because I wanted my son to grow up near my mom, step-dad and 3 little sisters. I wanted him to have the family values that I didn't have growing up. I wasn't going to let my feelings take over the real reason why I moved here.

I moved in with Joe over a year ago and got out of the small town. I now live in a different, much bigger, city that's still close to my mom, with a man who has great friends. Friends who have welcomed me into their circle with open arms. Friends who come over for dinner and barbecue's on a random day and not because it's a special occasion.

I finally feel like I belong. Virginia is my home. Regardless of my hatred for the winter and all of this damn snow, I'm where I'm supposed to be. My heart and mind are happy right where I'm at, home. And it feels damn good.

Deep Throat of the Day: Home is more than just were the heart is.

4 comments:

Southern Sage said...

Well everyone makes mistakes. Glad you overed the bad ones and have been able to give Ethan the family values you want him to have.

Fl people are better lovers tho!

Randi said...

I hope you have a fantastic birthday and that the year ahead brings you only the best, April.

Jack and Jill said...

Great read. Very insightful, introspective, and above all, relatable. Happy Birthday!

R said...

I've been reading your blog for a long time, and you've never seemed happier or more content. Clearly, you and Joe are good for each other, and I'm glad you've landed in a great place. Here's to many more happy trips around the sun!