Monday, November 01, 2010

Kissing your kids

I was reading this article the other day. A woman wrote to Margot Howard saying that her husband kisses (pecks, not full on tongues) his 5y/o daughter (her stepdaughter) on the lips and it freaks her out. She went on to write that kissing on the lips is a sexual gesture that should only be done when you're married. This just blew my mind but it's not the first time I've heard it.

When I was about 10 or 11, I had gone with my friend to her catholic church. It was my first time ever attending this church and after what the priest said, it was my last. During his sermon, he said, "Parents, you should not kiss or hug your children because they're sexual acts that will promote promiscuity." I went home and asked my dad what "promiscuity" meant. He asked me why and I told him what the priest said. He told me that I wasn't allowed to go back there.

I do not understand how or why people feel this way. Really, I can't wrap my brain around that whole concept at all. I understand that the people who feel this way were probably raised to believe that, just as I was raised to believe the opposite, but I still don't get it. Kissing is only a sexual act if you make it a sexual act, otherwise it's simply a sign of affection.

I grew up in a family that gives hugs and kisses in abundance. To this day, I still greet my mom with a hug and a kiss on the lips. I kiss my stepdad, my sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. And yes, I kiss my 12y/o son on the lips as well. None of those kisses are sexual nor are they interpreted as being sexual by the people receiving them. There are many times when I kiss Joe on the lips and it's not deemed sexual. When he comes home from work or when I leave for work, we give each other a kiss. Then it's not sexual either.

But of course this is me speaking from my own experiences and beliefs. So, I'm wondering what do you guys think? Is kissing your kids on the lips a sexual act?

Deep Throat of the Day: Brett Favre better keep denying those penis pictures are his. I know I would after seeing the penis in those pictures.


Jim McKee said...

I'm with you, this seems kinda silly.

alana said...

It kind of sets up the dynamic that men are predators out to get children as well. Not cool. Though admittedly, my grandma still tries to kiss me on the mouth and it freaks me out. lol

Grant said...

Hugging is like a gateway drug. It leads straight to anal sex. Just you wait - in another ten years or so your son will be having sex, and then you'll wish you listened to the priest and the random creepy guy on the 'net.

Hubman said...

I'm 40, my son is 10, we hug and kiss. And my dad is 67, we still hug and kiss.

I'd be denying those pictures too!

Another Suburban Mom said...

I worry more about kids that aren't hugged and kissed. Love and affection is so important to kids.

Kira said...

I was raised Catholic and never had any person at any time, both in my Catholic schools which were run by nuns and the church my parents took us to, ever say anything so completely preposterous. But of course, there are mentally deficient folks everywhere. You don't have to even look hard. My parents hugged us primarily, but we got the occasional kiss too. With Alex, kissing is the norm (Frenchman, after all), and culturally it was harder for him to groove into hugs. But he does it fine now, and certainly could do it from the very beginning with our kids. I kiss my son and my daughter on cheeks or on the lips. I don't see a problem with that at all. Most of my closest girlfriends get a peck on the lips, too. And my sister, plus most of my family. I mean, unless you're using tongue, you're good :P

Randi said...

I kiss every member of my family on the lips and have since I was little. We've yet to have sex.

Sassy said...

I kiss and hug my son constantly. My husband too. I hug and kiss my family members and his family. My friend get hugs and kisses too. It doesn't mean I want to have sex with them, or that it's a sexual act.