Thursday, October 14, 2010


I am a wine drinker. Because of this, I go to Total Wine at least once a week. During my visits there I befriended an older (70's) gentleman named Hal. For a year every time I'd go to Total Wine I'd talk to Hal. One day he told me that he was quitting Total Wine to get back into aviation. He asked if we could remain friends, to which I said yes, and gave him my email. I had gotten the impression from him that he's a lonely, old man. His 2 grown children live in California and his wife passed away. I felt that being his friend and giving him someone to talk to might make him a little happier.

We've emailed each other several times and have met for lunch 3 or 4 times. He's a very nice and interesting man and offers many exciting stories about his time in the military. But after receiving an email from him this morning, I'm beginning to feel that he's not only a needy friend but has feelings for me that run deeper than those of a friendship.

I received my first suspicious email on September 8th. He had emailed me in the afternoon on September 7th. Because I hadn't responded to him by the next morning, I received the following email:
Dear April,

I think that I may have pissed you off with my political views. It is not that simple. I am eclectic and pretty independent. I guess, and I am just guessing that maybe I should not have told you about my trips to Thailand. The last part of my last E-mail is absolute. I do not have an easy time making friends. Thanks for being around awhile at least.


I replied back to that email saying that he didn't say anything to piss me off and I found his Thailand stories fascinating. I told him that I just got a little busy and wasn't able to reply back to him right away.

Our most recent lunch was two weeks ago on September 30th. I emailed him after our lunch saying it's always a pleasure having lunch with him and thanking him. I haven't emailed him since the 30th of September and I haven't heard from him since then either, until this morning. This is the email I got:
Dear April,

Best of luck to you. Sounds like you don't need me any more. Looks as though you have finally found your rabbits foot. That's great! I cannot think of a more deserving person. I wish you long life and most of all happiness in your upcoming marriage. Again I cannot think of a more deserving person.
Thanks for the kind words. Also never worry about your prosthetic ankle. Truth is you have to be one of the most physically beautiful women I have have known. Missed the boat again. Story of my life.

Take Care,

The story behind the rabbits foot is that after telling him a few bad stories (mixed with a bunch of good stories) he determined that I have bad luck and need a rabbits foot. It was a joke. But his comments about me being physically beautiful and that he "missed the boat" make me feel that he thought there would be more to our relationship than friendship. I have never made any comments toward him which would make him feel like I was interested him in anything more than friendship. My reply to his last email:
Dear Hal,

Listen, I consider you my friend. I do not understand the purpose or reasoning behind this email. Is it because you've not heard from me for a few weeks? If so, that means you automatically feel that I don't want to speak to you ever again? I'm not sure I understand that line of thinking. I have several friends that I don't talk to every day, every week or even every month. That doesn't mean I don't need their friendship anymore. I don't understand why you wouldn't have just sent an email saying hi, asking how I was doing or telling me about what's been going on with you. Instead I get this, and this is the second time I've received an email like this from you. I don't want you feeling this way. Please tell me what I need to do so you won't feel this way again? Because to be honest, Hal, I'm trying to think of why you would feel this way. I didn't say anything mean to you during our last lunch. I didn't act distant or strange toward you. The only thing I can think of is that I've not contacted you in 2 weeks.

I could give you a list of reasons as to why I haven't emailed you since met for lunch a few weeks ago, but I don't feel that I need to justify myself. You should know that I have said to myself, "I wonder how Hal's doing? Gotta send him an email to say hi." I know you can't read my thoughts so I do apologize for not contacting you since the last time we met for lunch.

I truly hope all is well with you and that your studies have come easy.

Take Care,

I just sent that reply so I've not heard back from him yet. What do you guys think?

Deep Throat of the Day: This is very exhausting.


Kira said...

He probably is just very insecure and doesn't have a good self-image, so he needs a little more attention to feel that he's not bothering you. And of course he wants down your pants. Who doesn't? ;) As long as you are able to set him straight and he doesn't continue to be randomly insecure, plus you can make sure he understands that you DO enjoy his (platonic) company but want nothing more (and he listens), then all is well. Your email seems fine.

On another note, you DO know that I work as a wine specialist at a local TW, right? If you ever want recommendations, I'm happy to provide them :D

Kira said...

Ok, just saw your comment on my blog--I made some wine recommendations :D

Randi said...

Sounds insecure indeed. And a tad bit dramatic. I think your email was well said and if he doesn't respond well, wash your hands of him. Some people aren't meant to be lifelong friends.

~Kenny said...

Oh see now you hurt the old guy's feelings and he had just re-upped his Enzyte order as well as renewed his Viagra prescription! ;-p