Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Have you seen Baby Jesus?

We're having an Ugly Sweater Party this weekend so we wanted to make sure we had all of our Christmas decorations out. Joe has a bunch of decorations that he got from his aunt who passed away, including a nativity scene complete with camels. I unwrapped each of the figures only to find that Baby Jesus was missing! I searched through each box several times and he's nowhere to be found. I think someone told him what he had in store for his future and he made a run for it. He probably joined the Taliban and is hiding in some dirt tunnel with Bin Laden in Afghanistan. That or he's in the Witness Protection Program. Who knows. Either way, if you see Baby Jesus, please tell him that his virgin mother misses him and it's time to come home.

Joe and I are getting married in June. One of his best friends goes to vet school in Australia and only comes home a few times a year, June being one of those times. Everyone knows that June is a huge month for weddings which means dates fill up quickly and a LOT more money. But let me tell you we found the most perfect places to get married and have a reception. And they have an available Saturday in June!

A beautiful restaurant on the water with an upstairs that was specifically designed for our wedding receptions. Right next door is the most adorable little park with the most beautiful gazebo right in the center. We will get married in the gazebo, take a few pictures, then walk over to the restaurant for the reception. PERFECT! We're so stoked.

But, we have a dilemma. We do not want children at our wedding or reception, except of course my son and the 11 y/o flower girl. This means that Joe's nephews and our friends children are not invited. I do not have any small nieces or nephews, so that's not an issue for my side of the family. I've been reading a lot about this and apparently some people get majorly offended. But here's the deal....we want this to be an ADULT event with drinking, dancing and having a good time. Good adult fun. Period. People, even if they don't drink, tend to not have as much fun at events when they bring their children because they're constantly watching them. There's not a room at the restaurant to have a sitter area to watch the kids. And even if there was, we'd still want it to just be adults. I'd love to know your thoughts on this.

Deep Throat of the Day: I hope you're keeping warm, Baby Jesus...

21 comments:

Andrea said...

Well...I've always been more of a fan of "children are invited." I know they make noise and make lives harder for their parents at fancy events where they should be quiet, but I've never wanted my friends to feel like they couldn't come to my events if they can't get a sitter for whatever reason. (financial being a big one)

I'd much rather have my friends and family around me with some noisy kids than miss them if they can't make it due to my saying they couldn't bring the kids.

April said...

I hear ya, Andrea, and you have a good point. It's not so much about the noise as it is the environment. We'd just prefer to have an adult-oriented environment. But, we've not sent out the invitations so we may change it up.

Thanks for your input as it's helpful in our final decision.

Grant said...

Maybe he got raptured.

You can win the ugly sweater contest if you smear entrails over yours and wait for the goo to fester and draw flies. If you're really dedicated, that is.

Jim said...

I think it's ok, and people just need to get past this feeling of every blessed thing needing to include the kids. I love mine to death (beyond death, if we want melodrama :-) . . .), but I also REALLY treasure the times that my wife and I can just be big people for a little while, without feeling like some sort of neglectful parents.

Sounds like Old Town, to me, lucky girl :-)

XO

April said...

Grant: I think I just threw up in my mouth.

Jim: I wish it was Old Town...that area is too pricey for us. It's on the Occoquan which is only about a 20 minute drive from us. Just as beautiful as Old Town if not more.

Randi said...

I had an adult only wedding. It was my preference but it was also the rule of the boat we had our reception on. It was a rowdy good time and I was glad there were no children that needed to be tended to although it did make it inconvenient for my guests.

~Kenny said...

Oh My you see like funerals are for the living not the dead..

You have the common misconception the wedding day is for the bride. You are in a world of hurt now. There are gonna be a lot of butt hurt guests, but if you are prepared for the fall-out then go for it.

Just sure this is a hill you want to die on so to speak because yes..some people will be offended or should I say feel excluded

April said...

Kenny: What part of anything I wrote has you thinking that I think the wedding day is for the bride? On the contrary, our thoughts are about the guests. WE (a decision we BOTH made, not ME) want them to have a good time, without their children. We want it to be more of a "party" environment for the guests rather than a family environment. About the bride? Shit, if it were up to me we'd elope to Vegas or get married by the JP.

~Kenny said...

Sorry I hope my comment didn't come across as an attack. I just know people and it is hard enough to try and please everyone (which never happens) but I know people with kids...well they can be indignant when you say the kids are not invited that's all I am saying. You should have a strategy to deal with the inevitible fall out.

As for me I would TOTALLY go with the elope option...well if I had a someone to elope with (minor detail)

April said...

Kenny: No I didn't feel like your words were an attack. I felt confused because I have made it a point not to be one of those "all about me" brides. Not something you would know by reading my post. But I just read my post over and over trying to figure out what I wrote that came across that way.

We have considered that some people may get upset. The thought process is that if people can't handle having a night of fun without their children, then that's their fault. I am a parent and I would never be offended if I couldn't bring my son to someone's wedding. A wedding that they pay a lot of money per person for. We were just invited to a wedding over the summer in which kids weren't allowed. No problem. One person brought their 3 y/o kid and because of the close quarters, the kid kept getting knocked down. The mom was mad but really, it was an adult only event. Kinda like bringing your kid to a bar. Who does that?

Our wedding will be at a restaurant with a bar and an open bar at that. Why would a parent want to bring their kid(s) around a bunch of drinking people?

We're going to approach the Adults Only idea from the point of view we have: Come and have adult fun!

It's like a guys night out or girls night out. Parents don't bring their kids then. Why? Because it's adult time. And there's nothing wrong with parents having adult time, even at a wedding.

~Kenny said...

I get it..and you do too, but you gotta know some parents just don't.

Oh and nothing you wrote indicated it was all about you or that you are ANY type of a Bridezilla ( God I lover that term). I was simply writing from the societal expectation that the wedding day is about the bride.

am I invited? :-D

Erin said...

I just got married in October and there were no kids allowed (except for my nieces and nephews, because we are close to them and wanted them there). None of my friends' or cousins' kids were invited. Nobody made a fuss (at least to my face) and everyone had fun drinking and dancing. If we had invited all of the kids of the cousins and friends, we would have had to cut out a lot of adults that we really wanted there.
And the day IS all about you (and Joe and Ethan) so if someone doesn't like it, too bad. They can have it the way they want it when they get married, right? I am originally from VA and know that the Occoquan is beautiful! Have fun!

Jim McKee said...

My wife (fiancee at the time) got off the plane from the UK on June 10th, and pulled together an outdoor wedding in 16 days. I helped some, but really, she ran the show. The only thing I did before she got here was secure the park pavillion. But it was really nice (although we sweated our a$$e$ off!!!).

Jim McKee said...

BTW, Baby Jesus... I'm thinking he's all grown up now, and not quite happy with the way we treat each other... (not you or I specifically, I'm referring to humanity as a whole...)

Another Suburban Mom said...

I was raised in an environment where children were not invited to wedding receptions, anniversaries or other fancy parties. The rule was any event that had linen on the tables did not include children.

Children however, were welcome to come to the ceremony, but the receptions were adult only parties. Even if the children were in the wedding party, they were not invited to the reception.

When Hubman and I got married, we did not invite children to the reception.

Also, you have to pay for them per head too, and not everyone has money for everything, and you can phrase your no children that way.

Joe Nobody said...

Thanks for the comment April. I responded to it back at my blog.

Joe Nobody said...

I responded again, shoot me your email.

Kira said...

Alex and I just had a justice of the peace come out to the apartment with the witnesses and our kids there. That was our wedding. Yah, well, we were totally and completely broke, so it fit our budget ;)

I guess for me, it would depend on how young the kids are or whatever. That kind of situation seems like misery and boredom for the under ten set, but I know that my kids (13 and 10) would probably be polite to all and completely entertained by the drunk people. And as a bonus, they'd probably hit it off with your son and have a blast. I guess if I had a situation like that, I'd probably cut off the children allowed age at my son's age so that kids who were "too young" would not be there, but there would be a few kids for my son to have a good time with as well. It's something to consider. Well, in my mind at least ;)

Sassy said...

We had an adult reception. It was simply because the location we chose was smaller and my family has TONS of children...and we didn't want to invite just some. Our invitation said something to the effect of "adult reception to follow". No one was offended (that I ever heard of, and in my family, I'm pretty confident I would have). Invitations go out way in advance and it gives people lots of time to prepare and get creative for babysitting.
Something I've done is trade babysitting with a friend/neighbour and that way it doesn't cost us anything. There is always a way if people are willing to try :) You have to do what you want and feel is right for your wedding.

Anonymous said...

Il semble que vous soyez un expert dans ce domaine, vos remarques sont tres interessantes, merci.

- Daniel

Joe Nobody said...

Thanks for the email.