Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Hairy Situation

Here is a conversation that took place over the phone yesterday.

*Ring Ring*

Me: "Hey Boogie."
Ethan: "Hey Mommy."
Me: "What's up?"
Ethan: "Do we have a pair of scissors that I can keep just for myself?"
Me: "As far as I know, we only have the one pair of scissors in the kitchen. But I can get you a pair. What do you need them for?"
Ethan: "You don't want to know."
Me: "Well I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know."
Ethan: "Are you sure you want to know?"
Me: "Please tell me you're not wanting scissors to cut your pubic hairs."
Ethan: "Maybe...."
Me: "Oh my God! Are they really that long that you need to start trimming them? I mean you're twelve!"
Ethan: "See.."
Me: "NO! Forget I asked that! If you REALLY need to trim your pubes, you don't do it with scissors. You don't want to cut yourself down there."
Ethan: "Well what do I use?"
Me: "You would use a small hair trimmer. It looks like the clippers I use to cut your hair only smaller."
Me: "A smaller version of hair clippers, like a beard trimmer. Joe has one downstairs that he uses."
Ethan: "Joe trims his pubes?"
Me: "Sometimes."
Ethan: "How do you know? Have you seen him do it?"
Me: "No! He's just not good at getting all the hairs cleaned up. There's always a few strays on the rim of the toilet"
Ethan: "Gross! I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you."
Me: "Love you. Bye."
Ethan: "Love you, too. Bye."

Deep Throat of the Day: Can I get a mom pass to skip his puberty?

(p.s. Joe, if you're reading this, sorry I outed you to Ethan and the interwebs. Lover you bunches!)


KBear said...

OH. MY.GOD! that's too funny!

I've got 10 years before that conversation happens thank god.

Cannot stop laughing. the joys of being mom!!! love it!

Anonymous said...

That is funny as hell. LOL

alana said...

Ha! That's hilarious.

Grant said...

I notice your dialogue is in red, just like Jesus.

Osbasso said...

There's something not right about a kid who still calls you "Mommy" needing to trim his pubes...

Joker_SATX said...

There is nothing more refreshing than a shorn scrotum let me tell you!

I can't wait for my boys to start telling me that they have to get their Mommar Khadafi due off their privates!


ChopperPapa said...

Times have changed....I'm pretty sure that when I was twelve, the length of my pubes were the last thing that I was worried about.....

That was straight up .....ho-larry-ous!

Bat said...

All of his girlfriends will thank you. Be glad you have a teenager interested in grooming.

Randi said...

I know Casey is only 7 months old but I totally think about the day this conversation happens.