April's Random Showers

Movin' on up

2011-12-27T11:52:00.000-05:00

To a smart phone! I've been using the LG Lotus for a long while now. Prior to that I had regular old flip phones. At least the Lotus has a qwerty keyboard. I've been doing just fine with these phones, but I think it's time to move up to a smart phone. So, I've taken the plunge and I'm going big! Joe got me an iPhone for Christmas.

Honestly, I've really had no desire to get a smart phone. Joe uses one and I just can't stand it. It's so complicated and there's so many more steps to do simple functions like making a call and sending a text. Plus I have fat fingers so using the touch screen to type is a big pain in the ass. Everyone who uses a smart phone says you get used to it. Hopefully I'll get used to it sooner rather than later.

I know, I know, I sound like a whiny old fuddy-duddy who can't move forward with technology. But it's not that I can't move forward with technology, it's that I've never felt the need to do more with my phone than make/receive calls and texts. It wasn't until recently that I've had a need to check my email from my phone. I can check it from my Lotus, but it's a very time consuming process and the screen is very small, making a lot of it limited.

So, the iPhone arrives tonight. I'm so stoked to play around with it and familiarize myself with all of the functions. Joe says the iPhone will be less complicated than his phone. God I hope so!

Anyway, Christmas was great! Ethan is getting harder to surprise and I really like surprising him with the gifts he gets. Unfortunately, that usually involves some sort of lie. I don't like lying to him, but he understands that they're not hurtful lies. They're little lies so he will be surprised. He knows how much it means to me for him to be surprised. That look on his face when he is truly surprised is the best gift I can get for Christmas. This year we definitely accomplished that true surprise and it was awesome!

Ethan had asked me a couple weeks ago what my favorite perfume is. It is J'adore by Christian Dior. I thought he was just asking because he was curious. Ethan asks a LOT of questions without motive other than being curious. To my surprise on Christmas, I opened a box from him with a bottle of J'adore in it. He had saved up his own money and bought it himself.

He wanted so badly to buy this for me with his own money, I was told. That shit isn't cheap! It warmed my heart that he used the last of his money to buy me a Christmas present because HE wanted to. I was also really surprised that he remembered the name of the perfume. It's not an easy name to remember.

I hope each of you had a wonderful Christmas and have an awesome New Year!

Deep Throat of the Day: Please tell me I'm not the only one still using a flip phone!

Correction

2011-11-18T08:12:00.004-05:00

So I'm on Facebook when I come across this status update: (copy & pasted as is)

"ok its almost deceember shewww time flys when ur havn fun lmao just found out the 2 most beautiful woman in my family are gonna plan my baby shower for febuary yayyy so excited and thanks 2 my bff for finding out where tons of noahs arc baby stuff is love u myra =) now gotta get addresses and figure out who im inviting so excdited =)"

This type of word butchery is routine for her. It drives me up a wall, really. However, I found it rather comical that the first comment of said status update was from her, making a correction:

"*excited lol"

Yes, because out of all the words she misspelled, lack of punctuation, lack of capitalization, etc. excited is the one she just had to make sure was correct.

I'm fortunate to have the majority of my friends on Facebook write properly. They'll form complete sentences, spell out the words you/your/to/the (rather than u/ur/2/da), and generally write like grown people should. I'm far from perfect when it comes to writing, but I don't, under any circumstances write like the woman above or another friend of mine on Facebook:

"so....this ankle thing is plucking my last nerve lls why i go 4 dr appt he tells me i need xray n now i have a stress brake on top my foot lmao doctors theses days woooow so now i have had 2 broken bones in foot n never had a cast now wat is wrong here no wonder i cnt get better bad day goin 2 bed . Oh but got hair cut by liza n it looks so good thanxs gurl =)"

Both of these women are adults. Women in their 30's, writing like this on Facebook. Maybe I'm an asshole but I just feel this is completely unacceptable. Wat? Really? She couldn't put in one more fucking letter to spell it properly? Yet she could spell out the whole word wonder?

Do they think it makes them look cool to write this way? Because I just don't understand WHY anyone would go through the trouble and effort to purposely write like an idiot. And it is trouble and effort if you think about it. It takes more effort mentally to intentionally misspell words than it does to spell them correctly. Well, it does for me anyway. Maybe with some practice I could get good at writing like an idiot, but why would I want to do that?

Am I just being an old fuddy-duddy over this shit?

Deep Throat of the Day: Would I be a dick to defriend them just because they write like idiots?

Give me a f'ing break!

2011-11-17T08:09:00.001-05:00

Yesterday morning, my oh so cute dog, Bailey, decided she was going to eat something she shouldn't be eating. When I tried to get it out of her mouth, she ran away from me and jumped over the couch. I ran around the couch because trying to jump over it would have been a disaster and comical. The door to the large dog crate was open, but I didn't see it because it was dark. So while running I tripped over the crate door, some how cutting my finger and shoulder and scraping my knee. Then I slammed my face into the end table. The disaster was inevitable apparently.

After this happened, she decided to bark at me, getting all excited, and then head-butted me in my nose. Meanwhile Scotty, our "good dog" was laying next to me on the floor because I was sobbing like a baby from the intense pain on the left side of my face. I hadn't even realized that I cut my finger and shoulder.

All of this was after she woke up 45 minutes prior to the alarm clock going off.

She is so, so lucky I love her, that little bitch.

Deep Throat of the Day: Maybe she's like the dog version of Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone and set that shit up perfectly, like a trap? Sneaky dog.

Delivery

2011-11-16T08:08:00.002-05:00

I'm convinced that technology is causing people to lose their damn minds. Well, at least the part of their minds that control their ability to know the appropriate way to deliver certain information to others. Let me give you an example. My Aunt Linda posted the following, word for word, on my Facebook wall:

"April your grandmother past away this evening Oct 8th at 10:13 PM. Beverly and I were with her. She past peacefully."

Keep in mind, this WAS my notification of my grandmother passing away. And it wasn't until I saw a text message from a friend saying, "I'm sorry to hear about your grandma" that I even realized something had happened because I hadn't checked my Facebook yet.

Then a week or so ago I received a text message from my little sister letting me know she's getting married....THAT DAY!

Now, I have no issues with technology. I think it's brought us to places we've never thought possible and will continue to bring us places we can only dream of. However, there are just some things that are personal and should be shared on the most personal level possible. A grandparent passing and a sibling marrying are 2 of them, in my opinion. I feel that both my aunt and my sister should have picked up the phone and called to deliver their news to me since they couldn't have delivered it in person.

Am I wrong for feeling that way?

Deep Throat of the Day: The Packers are still undefeated! 9-0! Woo Hoo! Not much of a deep throat but it makes me happy.

Babies are not miracles

2011-10-20T22:34:00.003-04:00

Miracle: [mir-uh-kuhl] noun
1. A surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is considered to be divine.
2. A highly improbable or extraordinary event, development, or accomplishment.

Note: I'm aware that babies are made through artificial insemination and ivf and that many people struggle with infertility. I have not included these techniques or situations in what I'm about to write merely for simplicity. But please know that I'm not trying to lessen their experiences or take anything away from them.

Having a baby and being a parent is a very rewarding experience for most people. Life changing, even. However, anyone who has taken their most basic 5th grade Health class knows how babies are made. It is definitively explained by science. It is NOT a miracle.

According to the United States Census Bureau, for 2010 there is an estimated 361,481 babies born each day all over the world. Every minute in 2010 there were approximately 251 babies born. That certainly disqualifies it for an extraordinary event and is NOT a miracle.

I am just so tired of reading on Facebook, "My daughter is truly a miracle from God." and similar sentences. There was one this morning that said, "25 years ago today God made me a mother for the first time! Happy birthday son!"

For me this is not about a disbelief in God, because that's not case. (I'm unsure what I believe) This is about the proven human reproductive system and taking responsibility for your actions. You had sex. Sex makes babies. Having a baby makes you a parent. Now, I know it doesn't sound great to say, "25 years ago today, unprotected sex made me a mother for the first time!" But that's the reality of it. And that reality is, IT'S NOT A FUCKING MIRACLE! When you have millions of babies and parents on this planet, it's not a fucking miracle by any definition.

Deep Throat of the Day: I don't want this to turn into a debate about whether or not God gives us free will, so please don't bring it up. Because even if there is a God, and he doesn't give us free will, babies still aren't a miracle.

Keeping it real

2011-10-14T08:00:00.000-04:00

I am really wanting to fully understand and educate myself more on politics. I've realized that what I thought I knew, really wasn't shit. But I also realized that there really isn't anywhere on this damn internet to find unbiased information. Even websites like the Washington Post and New York Times are slanted to the left. At the same time, I don't want to read anything slanted to the right, either. I want to read facts and form my own opinion without any of these sites trying to sway me. (which they won't, but I digress.)

It's the same thing with television. Every political channel or show is either left or right, regardless of whether they claim to be unbiased or not.

But maybe I'm missing something? There HAS to be SOMEWHERE that I can get FACTS that doesn't have opinion scattered in, right? I should surely be able to find information that isn't manipulated to appear a certain way, right? There are studies out there that aren't funded by some rich liberal or conservative, right? Studies that just show the pure, cold, hard facts with a clear, concise objective and method, right?

Maybe there isn't. If there is, please tell me where to find it. Because I'm so, so tired of reading so much conflicting information. And I'm sick of reading opinions in places where I should be reading FACTS.

Listen, I'm not saying that there isn't legitimate information on these left or right leaning sites and tv stations. I'm just saying that I don't want to get my information from them. I don't want to get my information from anywhere that has a stake in any political party, even remotely. Maybe that sounds naive, but that's how I feel.

Also, I've been doing a lot of reading into the Occupy Wall Street protests. Until I read more and form a complete, educated opinion I'm only going to say this..

Deep Throat of the Day: a Port-A-Potty is not a basic human right, especially when you're protesting.

Feelings

2011-09-26T07:57:00.001-04:00

Last Thursday was back to school night for parents. I was given a copy of Ethan's schedule and spent 10 minutes in each of his classes, starting with 1st period. Everything went smoothly. As usual, I had a couple of people ask me, "Are you Ethan's mom?" When I said yes, they replied, "He looks just like you."

When I got to his gym class, I was a little surprised. The 2 P.E. teachers were morbidly obese. I don't have an issue with teachers being morbidly obese, I have an issue with Physical Education teachers being morbidly obese. I feel that they're not setting a proper example for what they're trying to teach. They teach physical fitness, the importance of being active and healthy, and there's even a week where they talk about eating healthy. I feel that if you're teaching kids all of that, you should be a good example of what you're teaching. I'm not saying they aren't great teachers, as I'm sure they are. I'm just saying I feel the kids would take them and what they're teaching more seriously, if they fit the image of what they're teaching.

The other issue I had was something that the P.E. teacher said. They were showing us a slide show of what's covered in their class. One of the things was body composition. The teacher said that they do not go into detail with body composition anymore because they don't want kids to feel bad about their bodies. Now, I'm all for kids having a high self-esteem, but as far as I'm concerned, they NEED to be taught about healthy body composition. Is there not a way to teach this without making kids feel bad about themselves? To me, this is not the same as the media pressuring girls to be extremely thin or boys to be muscle-heads.

When trying to find more details about teaching body composition in schools, I found the FitnessGram website. Under the FAQ I found this:

Some teachers and parents express concern that assessments of body composition (or weight status) will make a child overly concerned about their body and lead to eating disorders. There is no research evidence suggesting that this likely to occur. On the other hand, lack of knowledge about body composition and the lack of appropriate perceptions of body image may be greater contributors to the development of eating disorders.

Body composition testing (particularly skinfold testing) offers an opportunity for teachers to deal with the cultural obsessions with thinness and body image that prevail in our society. The teacher can set a tone of acceptance for different body types and acknowledge the important genetic contribution to obesity. With greater tolerance for variation in fitness levels, children can better determine the relation of their body composition to health without fear of ridicule. Avoiding the use of body composition assessment does nothing to counter the perceived cultural pressure to be thin or the tendency of many children to become obese as adults.

Using FITNESSGRAM can help young children set realistic standards for their body fatness and avoid the overemphasis on leanness that is often displayed by our culture.

Seems to me like body composition would be the opposite of giving kids a low self-esteem.

But, I guess this is similar to what I wrote about here. It's more coddling children bullshit, not wanting their feelings hurt. I think it's wrong! I think it is wrong that there have been so many changes in public schools due to parents not wanting their kids to have hurt feelings. I think it's wrong that schools are complying with these complaining parents. I think it's wrong to not teach children that you have to work for things in life. You have to work to be healthy. You have to work to get good grades. You have to work to be good in school. You have to work to win games. You have to work to make money so you can afford have a roof over your head and food in your mouth.

I truly believe that kids need to learn these things because these things help them with real life. In real life your feelings DO get hurt. And they'll need to learn how to handle their hurt feelings in a healthy way. Just like they need to learn how to handle their body and body image in a healthy way.

Deep Throat of the Day: Having a morbidly obese P.E. teacher is like having a Nutritionist with an office full of Ho-Ho's and Twinkies telling you to eat fruits and veggies.

Bonding time

2011-09-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

When I was 13 my dad would take me out to the boonies and teach me how to drive. It is one of the fun, happy times I remember sharing with my dad. Because of this I told Ethan when he turns 13 I would do the same. Well, he turned 13 on July 7th and there hasn't been a day that's gone by that he hasn't reminded me about it. It's been hard to make it happen because we live in a very populated area and I'm NOT letting him drive anywhere around here. This past Sunday we were heading to the country, so I made it happen!

While driving down Rte. 11, I found a perfect gravel road. Lining this road were apple orchards, corn fields and just a few houses set way off the road. I pulled off to the side and we switched seats. He was so, so excited! Before he could take off, I made sure he got the seat, steering wheel and mirrors adjusted accordingly and put on his seat belt. From there I had him get comfortable with the pedals. Gas, break, gas, break, gas, break over and over to get the feel of where the pedals are. He told me he might be more comfortable using both feet, which I said was fine for his first time. Once he told me he felt comfortable in the seat and with the car, it was time to put the car in drive!

I was SO, SO nervous! I tried my best not to show it, though. Once we started going, the look on his face was just of pure happiness with a sense of accomplishment. It was then that my nerves eased up and I started enjoying the moment.

The gravel road was about a half a mile long before it ended at a paved road. He drove us from one paved road to the other twice. About half way through he said, "I'm only using my right foot!" Thankfully the only encounters we had were with a cat, groundhog and a tow truck that seemed to appear out of nowhere. Each encounter went smoothly. He didn't overreact or yank the wheel, he just braked a little harder than I would've liked. We even practiced reverse and u-turns.

He pointed out a grasshopper on the windshield wiper and before I could even say it, he said, "DOH! I need to be paying attention to the road." That made me so proud. Really, the whole experience made me proud. He handled the car responsibly and he not only asked questions, but he listened to what I had to say. I was worried that he would have that "I know how to do it" attitude, as that's the attitude he's had with many things lately. But he didn't. For the first time in a long time, he appreciated my experience and knowledge.

It was an awesome experience for both of us and hopefully a memory that he'll remember fondly when he grows up. We both can't wait to do it again!

Deep Throat of the Day: Cross your fingers he doesn't sneak out and "borrow" my car!

Embarrassing to say the least

2011-07-22T07:54:00.000-04:00

Growing up, I was a tomboy. I preferred G.I. Joe to Barbie and I NEVER wore dresses or skirts. In middle school I started to attempt to be more "girlie" because I was becoming interested in boys for more than just playing sports with them. So when we had this big awards ceremony coming up, I decided I would go all out and wear a skirt.

My dad was so excited when I told him I needed to get a nice dress or skirt that he had no problem with taking me shopping. I found a very cute light blue and white striped matching skirt and top set. I completed the look with white pantyhose and white Sam & Libby's. I was so stylin'!

My change of attire was very surprising to my peers. Everyone was making comments. The boys, of course, were teasing me and the girls were complimenting me. Regardless, I felt completely out of my comfort zone. I made a quick run to the bathroom before the ceremony actually started to make sure I didn't look like the giant goofball I felt like, and to pee. Those ceremonies can be long, ya know?

I sat down in the dark auditorium just in time for the start. A couple of the teachers talked and then one by one I watched as my friends were called up to receive their award. They walked up the stairs to the stage and were handed their award as they shook the principal's hand. Then it was my turn.

I had been no stranger to the stage, as I was in the thespians club and had done many plays and monologues. Yet, I was very uncomfortable. I know that it was the outfit causing my vexation. But I walked with my head held high and tried to remain confident.

I started up the stairs, almost reaching the stage, when my shoe fell off. I turned around and picked up my shoe. The crowd was laughing. Still with my shoe in hand, I started walking across the stage when BAM, I tripped over one of the speaker cords and fell down. The crowd giggled even louder. If you thought I was embarrassed then, wait to you hear what happened next...

I picked myself up from the stage, trying to just laugh it off, and managed to successfully make it to the principal to receive my reward. As he handed it to me and I shook his hand, one of the female teachers who was sitting on the stage came over and said, "Your skirt is tucked into your tights." WHAT THE FUCK?

Yeah, the whole time the back of my skirt was tucked into my tights, exposing my underwear covered ass. The laughter wasn't just because I lost my shoe and tripped over the cord. No, no, those were mere side effects. The teacher turned my back to her and she pulled out the skirt, right on the center stage. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. For that brief moment, I don't think I heard a single sound. It was as if everyone there was just quiet, with all eyes on me.

I quickly walked off the stage, practically flying down the steps, and out of the auditorium. I didn't even go back to my seat. I couldn't. I didn't want to talk to anyone about what had just happened. All I could think about was what was going to go around school on Monday. Would I be the laughing stock? Would everyone in the whole school know? Did my crush see that? I was absolutely mortified and I wanted to leave the school right then and there and never come back.

My dad quickly met me in the hallway and just gave me a hug. "It'll be alright." That's all he could say. "Let's go now!" was all I could say. He obliged and took me home. Fortunately, the only thing that came out of that whole embarrassing incident was the nickname "Cinderella". The kids weren't as cruel as I imagined they would be. I think that my tomboy status was part of that. Let's just say that I was more of a fighter than a lover back then.

Now that I'm thinking about that situation, I'm so happy this happened to me waaaay back before there was social media. Because I guarantee that my ass would've been up on Twitter and Facebook before I even left the stage.

Deep Throat of the Day: This post was inspired by Chopper Papa's embarrassing story. You should definitely check it out!

Panic

2011-07-01T12:09:00.004-04:00

I don't think I've mentioned here that we ended up getting another dog. To make a long story short, I was volunteering with the dog rescue and fell in love with this awesome Boxer/Rot mix, Scotty. Knowing that Joe wouldn't want another dog, I thought he might be down for fostering this poor dog, who was in a doggy daycare facility and without a foster family. He said to bring him home and see how well he got along with Bailey. They were instant friends! Of course, Joe fell in love with him, too, so we ended up keeping him.

Fast forward to this morning.

I let the dogs outside to go potty and play. We have a big, fenced-in back yard for them to roam around in. It was maybe 7:45 or so, when I let them out. I was listening to my favorite morning radio show and playing some Zuma Blitz. Next thing I know, it's 9:00am and they hadn't wanted to come back in the house. I opened the door, called their names, and whistled. Nothing. So I go into the yard only to find that they weren't there.

They had dug a hole under the fence and ran away.

Behind our house is woods. Those woods are scattered with paved trails that are moderately traveled. There's also a creek not so far from the house. I called for them into the woods with no response. This is when I started to freak out. My one-legged ass ran faster than I've ever ran before, through the yard, down the stairs, into the house to our bedroom. I woke up Joe in a panic, which obviously caused him to jump out of bed.

I ran back outside into our back yard, calling for them. Joe came out and told me to go check out the front of the house. I went out there and did not find them, which is when I started to have a panic attack. I couldn't breathe and I was freaking out. I went back to the back of the house and ran out into the woods, calling them and whistling over and over as best I could considering I couldn't catch my breath. I'm sure I sounded like a dying cat when yelling their names.

I was standing about 5 feet away from this steep drop off that leads to the creek. I couldn't get close to the drop off to see if the dogs were down there because of the way the woods were laid out. So I just stood there, calling, whistling, crying, panic-ing, and feeling completely helpless. Joe was further down the woods also calling and whistling. I don't think he was in as much of panic though.

Finally, I heard the clinking of their collars and there they were, running up to me. Immediately I felt a sense of calm, and I was able to really cry tears of relief. They were soaking wet, probably from playing in the creek. Joe ushered them into our yard and the world began to move again.

That 15 minutes was the longest 15 minutes I can possibly remember. I had so many horrible thoughts go through my head. Yes, they're both microchipped and yes, they both have name tags with contact info, but still, that was some scary shit. I'm just so, so happy that they made it home safe and sound. I just love those dogs.

Deep Throat of the Day: You know those 2 were living it up, frolicking in the creek. Assholes.

Growing like a weed

2011-06-20T17:30:00.003-04:00

Well, the wedding went off without any glitches. The weather was rain-free, though terribly humid, for the entire outdoor ceremony. Everyone who said they were coming, came, except 1 person. The food was amazing, the atmosphere was spectacular, drinks flowed freely, everyone was smiling, dancing and having a blast! The night couldn't have been more perfect.

If you're my friend on Facebook, you may have already seen some of the pictures my friends have posted. If not, I promise I'll get some up shortly.

I didn't want to write about my wedding though. I wanted to write about Ethan. He'll be 13 in just a few short weeks on the 7th of next month. THIRTEEN! He's gone from this short, stocky, round-faced boy to this tall, slender, extremely handsome young man. I am so amazed when I look at him. I know I wrote about this in a paragraph several posts back, but I just am still blown away by him.

He looked so, so grown up in his tuxedo. All night I just smiled so big when I saw him because I couldn't get over how mature he looked. It helped that he had his hair cut a lot shorter than he had had it. I know I'm his mom and I'm supposed to be saying these things, but still, just look at him!

He also was the hit of the wedding. He and the guy I cut out of this picture decided they were going to have a breakdancing dance-off. They were going back and forth, everyone standing around cheering. They were both doing equally well when Ethan busted out with 5-6 pin drops in a row. The crowd just started going crazy! That's when the guy said, "Oh damn! I just got owned by a 12 y/o!"

I cannot tell you how many people came up to me and started talking about how great Ethan is. And it felt so good to hear it. I'm always hoping that he'll be the good person I'm trying to teach him to be. Then to have someone say, "Ethan is such a sweet kid! He offered to get me some more potatoes when I said I wanted more", just makes my heart smile.

I want him to be a kind, giving, loving, thoughtful, intelligent person, among many other things. To know that he's exhibiting these things makes me feel like I'm doing something right.

I look at him in awe. How did I get so lucky?

Deep Throat of the Day: He's still my Boogie Woogie, no matter how big he gets!

Dudes be hatin'

2011-06-17T09:18:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow is the big day! I'm really, really excited and am looking forward to it being over with. I've realized how wonderful my friends really are by this process.** They have just stepped up to the plate and have helped us in any way they can. While I've only needed help with a few little things, it just means the world to me that they not only offered, but when asked, they came through.

One friend threw a bachelorette party for me, which wasn't planned or asked for. Joe and I are not having a wedding party. It's just me, him and Ethan. Usually the bridal party will throw the bachelorette party. Because I don't have a bridal party, and because this is my second wedding, I didn't even consider the possibility of having a bachelorette party. We had a blast, as you can tell from my drunken picture. And as you can tell from the picture, they had me decked out in a bunch of crazy bachelorette party fun stuff! Joe went out on Friday for his bachelor party and seemed to have an equally good time.

Then, the girls at work threw me a surprise bridal shower, complete with homemade cheesecake and sexy lingerie!

But this post isn't about that. I wanted to talk about why men try to discourage other men from getting married. Women don't do this unless they feel the guy you're marrying is an asshole. Even then, it's not about marriage, it's about the guy. Joe has had countless friends telling him all kinds of things that could potentially scare a man away from marriage. Everything from, "You'll never get to fuck anyone else again" to "Women change after you marry them. You think everything's all great now, but then once you marry them, their true colors shine through. Then you're stuck."

Why do men do this to other men? Is there any truth behind the things they say?

Thankfully, he just smiles and thinks to himself, "These guys don't know the relationship April and I have." (or something along those lines)

But I'm curious, does anyone know why guys do this?

Deep Throat of the Day: Pray I can get some sleep tonight.

**I do not measure friendship by what people do for me. After reading this, I realized that it could come across that way. Long ago, I wrote about how hard it's been for me to find good, solid friends since I moved to VA. I care deeply for these women and I truly consider them my friends. Their help didn't solidify their friendship, it just proved to me that I wasn't wrong about them.

Disappointing

2011-06-08T11:12:00.003-04:00

When my ex and I first split up, things were pretty bad. I'm sure if you go back on here to around April of 2006 (had to edit the year because it's 06 not 04) and the months following, you will find some pretty detailed posts about how things were. He was badly addicted to pain pills. I feel that while pain pills weren't THE cause of our divorce, they were a very big factor. Pain pills completely changed him. They consumed him. He spent a lot of time looking for pills and when he couldn't find them, he spent even more time thinking of ways to get them.

When he didn't have pills, he would be an asshole. He would say mean, hurtful things and be violent. He lost his job because of pills, which in turn caused us to lose our house and eventually we lost our marriage. I cannot tell you how much money was spent on pills. Enough that would make you think of all the lavish things you could buy, that's for sure.

After I left him he started dating someone else, D. D was much younger than him and very naive. At the same time, she was a very nice person. Of course everything wasn't honky-dory, as I had issues with him still being on pills. I didn't want Ethan to be around him because I was concerned for his safety. The pills would make him nod out. He hung out with some shady people. And then there's the anger he had when he didn't have them. There was no way I was letting Ethan be around him alone.

Then he got help. He got clean and things were so much better. For the past 4 years, everything has been wonderful between me, Sammy and D. They've come over to our house for dinner, we've gone to their sons birthday parties, things were good. I would often brag about how much better Sammy was. I talked about how he had changed and become more responsible. We were friends.

Yesterday D called me and told me that she's leaving Sammy. She told me stories about him drinking and being on pills. Stories of his meanness and violence, his lies and unexplained, obscene spending. I immediately felt like I was back in my marriage because her stories were so familiar. She told me she was taking their 2 young boys and moving in with her parents. She said that she's not going to let him see the kids until he gets his shit together.

This just breaks my heart. I feel so badly for her because I truly believed he had changed. I truly thought things were good. And I know that he won't get better any time soon. It's only going to get worse before it gets better. That's how he handles things. But mainly I'm worried for Ethan.

Ethan and his safety are my number 1 priority. He's almost 13 now which means he can understand a lot more now than before. He can see what his dad is doing and can tell when he's not sober. I do not want Ethan being around him. I'm worried that he might get violent. I'm worried that he'll put my son in a dangerous situation. I'm worried he'll bring Ethan around people he shouldn't be around. I'm worried that Ethan will worry about his dad and try to take on more than he needs to, both emotionally and physically.

I sat down with Ethan last night and had a very open and honest conversation with him about the situation. I explained addiction to him and told him that it makes good people do not good things. I told him that while I don't want to tell him he can't go to his dad's house anymore, I don't want to have to worry about him every time he goes there. His reaction wasn't what I expected it to be. He really seemed to understand where I was coming from.

I haven't talked to Sammy yet because I'm trying to think of the most productive way to approach this with him. He is the type to get very defensive. He'll either start calling me names or he'll just hang up on me. So, I don't want to go into it in an accusatory way. I want to be....shit, I don't know exactly how to deal with him, which is why I haven't called yet.

All I know is that this whole situation is utterly disappointing. His inability to stay away from pills, his addiction, has let down so many people. And once again, caused him to lose his family. It's like he just repeated everything from our marriage with D. I'm just so thankful that Ethan has Joe in his life to be a positive male figure.

Deep Throat of the Day: Pain pills are the devil.

Some people

2011-06-01T15:15:00.004-04:00

I don't mean to write about our wedding again, but it's the biggest event happening in my life right now. So, you're going to have to read about it. (Unless you decide not to, of course.)

Some people piss me the fuck off! We sent out the invitations with the RSVP cards and envelopes already stamped and addressed. All people had to do was write their name and how many people are coming or if they declined; stick that bitch in their mailbox and poof, done! Easy, right? Apparently not for HALF of the people we've invited. That's right, fucking HALF!

I had to meet with the lady at the reception location to pay her and give her a head count last Thursday. The deadline on the RSVP was the previous Monday. People had close to a month to write their names and return the RSVP. Here we were, the night before having to meet with the lady, emailing, texting and calling people to see if they're coming. We didn't want to bug people like that or put them on the spot, but FUCK! Just send back the damn RSVP! I don't care if you can't make it. I understand that you have a life and other plans. It's perfectly OK. Just LET A BITCH KNOW!

Wedding receptions usually are NOT cheap, especially when you have to pay per person. It's nice to be as close to the exact amount as possible. You cannot give a "maybe" or an "I don't know" as part of your head count. You cannot do a seating chart for people when you don't know if they're going to be there or not. Maybe we should just leave them out and when they get there say, "Hmmmm, maybe I can find somewhere you to fucking sit, maybe I can find you something to fucking eat, and maybe I can get you something to fucking drink, asshole." Sure, things will come up for some people and they might not make it. I'm a pretty understanding person. However, I do not understand the sheer laziness of not sending back an RSVP, especially when they've had a month to get it returned.

And then there's Joe's sister....she has 3 boys and pretty much the day she got the invitation she said that only she could go because her husband would have to stay home and watch the kids. Her kids are not infants and have been babysat by people before. Yet, she didn't even TRY to find a sitter, even though her husband would like to see his brother-in-law get married, too. It's one thing if an effort was made and she couldn't find anyone. It's another thing to not even try.

Joe's other sister is really pissed at her for making her husband stay home. Joe's dad said that she's gotten people to watch their kids before. So why is this time different? I feel that she thinks that her children are Joe's nephews and they should be allowed to come, regardless of it being for adults only. Supposedly, they REALLY wanted to come to the wedding and were upset when she told them they couldn't. Whatthefuckever! They are kids and they are not able or invited to go everywhere. That's a lesson in life that they need to be taught. I know they're not my kids and she can do what she wants with them, but I still think she's being fucking ridiculous. If I were her husband, I'd get a sitter while she was at the wedding and go to a strip club and have big, fat titties rubbed all over my face all night long. What kills me THE MOST about this sister is that her wedding reception was adults only also.

Then, a friend of ours is supposed to be marrying us. He didn't return any phone calls or contact us for almost a month. He finally called on Friday and asked for me to call his wife to set up a time for us to have dinner and go over what we'd like him to say during the wedding. I've called the wife and of course, had to leave a message. And of course, she hasn't called me back. Need I mention that it's only SEVENTEEN DAYS before our wedding. SEVENTEEN FUCKING DAYS! Oh and they also haven't returned their fucking RSVP.

Then there's the people who were all, "OMG I CAN'T WAIT TO COME TO YOUR WEDDING!" a ton of times. They also haven't returned their RSVP's and when called they said, "Ohhhhh, I don't think I'm going to be able to make it." Like they didn't know about this and the date for almost 6 months now.

People are fucking assholes and all of the shit above is one of the many 5,457 reasons why I would have liked to get hitched in Vegas. Planning a wedding fucking sucks because you have to depend on other people. And people are inconsiderate fucking assholes sometimes.

Deep Throat of the Day: I refuse to become a bridezilla, which is why I just vented here and not on Facebook. Sorry for the use of "fuck" so many times. I'm just a little irritated, can ya tell?

Just say it!

2011-05-17T10:06:00.004-04:00

Today I read this post by ASM. She quoted a paragraph by Ned Hardy which made me think about something.

A couple Sundays ago, Joe, Ethan and I were walking into the grocery store. There was an older black woman walking past me and she caught my eye. She looked lovely in what I assumed was her church attire. It wasn't an outfit I would ever wear, but it looked amazing on her. The colors were perfect on her. So without even thinking, I leaned in her direction and said, "I love your outfit. It looks great on you." She smiled and said, "Oh thank you." Joe said to me, "I bet you just made her day."

Part of that Ned Hardy paragraph said, "Make someone's day." The rest of the paragraph was awesome, but this one line just stuck out to me. Why? I don't know. But I think it's spot on. I think we should all try, in even the smallest way, to make someone's day. Even if it's a random stranger with a nice shirt or boots or hair style. I think with all of the animosity out there among women, it wouldn't hurt if you're a woman and tried complimenting a random woman you see while you're out.

Don't we all think these things anyway? I mean, when you're out and about and you see something on someone that you like, don't you think it? "Oh those boots are awesome!" or "I really like her make up." Whatever it may be, we all think those things, just as we think the opposite, "She has no business wearing jeans that are 4 sizes too small for her." or "Someone needs to tell that dude that short shorts went out in the 70's." Of course you shouldn't say the negative things, because that defeats the purpose. But the positive? Let the person know. You don't have to sit and have a conversation, just say it in passing, with a smile on your face.

Those little gestures go a long way.

I hope I did make that lady's day. I hope that she continued to walk out of that grocery store with a smile on her face. I hope that who ever reads this decides to give a random stranger a compliment today.

Deep Throat of the Day: 32 days until I'm a married woman!

Etiquette Schmetiquette

2011-05-03T10:05:00.005-04:00

When you're getting married, there are so many "rules" of etiquette that you should follow. For example, if you have a friend who is in a relationship, but not married, you should always invite their significant other. (It should go without saying that if they are married, you HAVE to invite their spouse) They are considered a "social unit" therefore it doesn't matter if you haven't met him/her yet or if you have and just don't like the person. It doesn't matter if you're trying to keep your per person costs down, you should, according to etiquette, invite the significant other regardless.

Etiquette also states that if you're having an adults only wedding reception, you should NEVER state that in your invitations, you should just address the envelopes to who you actually are inviting. For example, if you only want to invite Mr. and Mrs. Smith, you address the envelope to them only. But if you wanted to invite their kids, you would address it to The Smith Family. I have had a huge issue with this and apparently so have many other brides from what I've read on the various wedding websites.

See, when I married Sammy, I wasn't aware of this etiquette. We weren't intentionally trying to have an adults only reception, but we addressed the envelopes to the couple rather than the family. Again, this was unintentional. People showed up with their kids anyway, which we didn't think anything of it. It's looking back, now knowing this etiquette, that makes me realize that no one knows what the fuck this particular rule of etiquette is! Ok, maybe saying no one is taking it to the extreme, but I think it's fair to say that the ratio of people who don't know as opposed to know, is fairly lop sided. And that's not in favor of those who do know.

Joe and I are on a tight budget for our wedding. We are paying for the whole thing ourselves. So when we were faced with having a per person rate, we thought of ways to keep the people count down. One of those ways was to have an adults only reception. The other reason for that is because we want our guests to have a good time. I know I've written about this before, asking for your thoughts on having an adults only wedding. This post isn't about that. The issue we're having is that the very first RSVP we received, they included their kids. They included them even though we followed the etiquette and only addressed it to Mr. and Mrs. Suckmyballs.

Etiquette dictates that you call these people and tell them, "I'm really sorry, Mr. Suckmyballs, but we just can't accommodate your children too." My problem with this is that I feel there's no nice way of saying this to someone. I feel that no matter how you put it, you're going to offend someone. So, my question to you is, do you feel there's a nice way to say this? Is there a way to tell them their kids aren't invited without offending them?

This does just reiterate my point that people do not know this stupid rule of etiquette and it should no longer be rude to say "Adults Only" on your invitations. Actually, on our invitations, I even wrote, "Please join us for an adult dinner reception on....." and people STILL didn't get it.

Deep Throat of the Day: Only 46 days away!

A Rabbi walks in to a bar with 2 naive girls....

2011-04-25T10:58:00.004-04:00

Ramble/

I can't seem to focus on things, even when I want to. I keep telling myself that tomorrow at work I'll focus and get things done, but then tomorrow seems to be the same as yesterday. This has caused a shit ton of work piled up on my desk that I just look at. I know I need to do it, but I can't motivate myself to get it done. Ugh.

Ethan is growing up right in front of my eyes. It's something that I hadn't ever noticed until now. I mean, sure, you know they're getting older and you can see the changes in them, but this is different. He's starting to look completely different. He's almost as tall as me. His little gut and round cheeks are gone. He's this slender, handsome young man and it blows my mind. Every day I'm just amazed with how much older he looks. Sometimes it makes me sad, because no parent ever really wants their kids to grow up. But we certainly can't stop the inevitable.

The woman from this post? The one I worked with who drove me crazy, was fucking the doctor who got fired then quit here to go work for him? Yeah, she got fired from his office. Why? Because she didn't do what she was supposed to do. I hate to revel, but she thought she did SO MUCH here and that the doctor was an idiot for saying she wasn't doing her work. I'm sure instead of seeing this as a sign that she was in the wrong, she's blaming everyone else, just like she did here. Oh well....that Karma, she'll get ya every time.

Buying shoes in not fun for me. Because of my prosthetic, I can only wear shoes with a 1-1.5 inch heel height. You'd think this wouldn't be a problem because there's a lot of shoes made with that size heel, right? Well, yeah, but the heel also has to be that somewhat hard rubber. You know the kind that will leave black skid marks on hardwood floors? That kind. The wood or hard plastic heels just don't work for me. Oh and it has to be a chunky heel, too. I can't have anything too skinny or else I'll fall and die. And lets not forget cute. I can't be wearing those ugly ass shoes that look like they're made for geriatric women.

This makes buying shoes a task. A task that makes me cry sometimes, really. I try to not get so upset about it when I see these awesome shoes on other women or in store windows. I try to remember that at least I'm alive. I could have died in that car accident. I try to remember that I'm fortunate enough to be able to buy a pair of shoes (if I could find a fucking pair that worked). I try to think that if the only thing that upsets me about having my leg cut off is not being able to easily find a cute pair of shoes that work, then I'm doing OK.

BUT FUCK! Why can't it just be easy to find a fucking pair of shoes!!! When I do find a pair that I like, I can't find them again when I need a new pair. I'll spend HOURS looking online to find a pair of fucking shoes. And it's fucking depressing.

My little sisters are so naive. I don't know where they got this from. My mom and stepdad are not that way. I thought it was because of their ages, 20 & 19, but I've met a lot of other people their ages who weren't as naive as them. Maybe it's because they grew up in a small town? I don't know. All I know is that I worry for them often because of their naivety.

Gas prices are fucking ridiculous, if you hadn't noticed. Remember the last time they got this high? It was all over the news, every day. On the DC news, every morning they would tell you which gas stations had the lowest prices. They were out at gas stations, interviewing people filling up their tanks. This was an every day thing, no exaggeration. But now? Now I only hear about it via people bitching on Facebook. Why isn't it on the news now like it was then?

Also in the DC news this morning they were talking about this special election for a DC counsel member. The election will be on Tuesday, which just happens to be Passover. A Rabbi of The National Synagogue sued the DC board of elections, wanting the date to be changed, and lost. He lost because of the options of absentee and early voting. But what gets me about this story is that the DC counsel opened on Easter Sunday to accept absentee ballots because the Jewish voters said they couldn't make it on Saturday to cast their ballots either.

Now, I have absolutely nothing against Jewish people at all. But I feel that it's unfair to have people of the Christian faith working on Easter Sunday because people of the Jewish faith couldn't vote on their holiday. How is that right?

I hope everyone had a great weekend and holiday. I'm going to TRY to get some work done.

/Ramble

Deep Throat of the Day: Focus...I can do this. Yeah right. Maybe tomorrow.......

Rescue

2011-04-11T11:07:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I volunteered with a dog rescue for the first time. I was really excited to volunteer and was willing to help in any way I could. This particular rescue is for large breed dogs. We set camp outside of a small pet store where I was a Dog Handler. A few of us were assigned to the puppy pens and the rest got to have their own dog. The dog I was assigned to was named Simba.

Simba was a mixed breed. Maybe some Chow, Border Collie, Lab...who knows. All I know is that this guy was the most relaxed dog I've ever seen. Oh and did I mention he was only 2? He just strutted around, minding his own business. He did well on the leash, making sure to not drag me along, and he made friends with all of the people and other dogs. One family was really interested in him because of his temperament. I hope they decide to adopt him.

When the day was over, they needed someone to do a home visit to make sure that this house was acceptable for a new puppy. Since I didn't have anywhere to be, I volunteered to go. I had remembered the couple from the event. They seemed very pleasant and their house was deemed fit for a puppy. Daphne, their 2 y/o Lab, was a sweetie. They were trying to bring the puppy in as a playmate for Daphne.

I had brought the puppy, Tanya, with me knowing that they'd probably be approved. When I was done with the inspection and the contract was signed, we brought Tanya out to meet Daphne. It was quite comical to watch Daphne. She was afraid of this little tiny puppy. We all had a laugh and figured Daphne would need some time to get used to Tanya. That was around 3:30pm.

Around 8:30pm, my cell phone rang. It was her, the woman who had adopted Tanya. She told me that it's just not going to work between Daphne and Tanya and she'd like to give Tanya back. WHAT? In 5 hours she decided it wasn't going to work? I stayed calm and nice, of course. I explained to her that it's only been 5 hours and that she should just give it a little bit of time for Daphne to get used to Tanya. That's when she told me that she's already adopted 2 other dogs previously and had to give them back as well. So she just knows that it's not going to work. All because she doesn't give it enough time for her dog to adjust to other dogs. Fucking ridiculous!

Even with that, I still found my volunteering experience to be rewarding. There are so many awesome dogs out there who need a good home. If I can be apart of that in even a small way, I'm happy to do so.

Deep Throat of the Day: Some people are just idiots.

Give me all your money!

2011-03-30T08:31:00.000-04:00

HDW had this story posted on her Facebook page and it reminded me of what happened when I was 16. What happened, you ask? Well, I'll tell you...

Once upon a time, I was 16 years of age, working the 5pm-11pm shift, on a school night, at Dunkin Donuts. Because that shift was so slow, I was the only person working. The night before, a man had come in and robbed the other 16 y/o boy who worked there with me. That caused me to be a little worried, but I had convinced myself that no one would rob the same place 2 nights in a row....

It was 30 minutes before closing when a couple came in. They were regulars there and knew me by name. I had told them about the robbery and they offered to stay until closing. I insisted that that wasn't necessary because I'd be closing in 30 minutes and that no one would rob us 2 nights in a row. They got their coffee and said goodbye.

About 5 minutes later, this short, skinny guy walked in. He was wearing baggy, khaki shorts and a white shirt that had "Life's a Beach" written on it. His clothes were dirty and filled with holes. His hair was dark brown and cut like Paul McCartney's when he was with The Beatles (circa 1964). He walked up to the counter and smiled at me. His teeth were rotten and just nasty.

"You're going to hate this. You're really going to hate this" he said as he smiled really big. Because his tone wasn't threatening, I thought he was going to ask for 5 dozen doughnuts or something like that. I replied, "Oh yeah? What's that?" He said, as he pointed something in his pocket at me, "I'm going to ask you to open up that register and give me all of your money." All the while smiling and completely calm. The robbery from the night before was on our local news, so I thought that this was just some douche trying to be funny. I laughed.

That's when he stopped smiling and pulled a gun out of his pocket, "I'm NOT joking. Open up your register and give me all of your money. NOW!" I instantly went into this mode. I can't describe it, but I just wanted to be able to remember everything about him. And I wanted to be able to make sure they could catch him. I scanned his entire body, desperately trying to burn an accurate, descriptive image of him in my brain. I did this while pulling the drawer out of the register.

Then I thought to myself, "If I don't hand him the register, he'll have to touch it, leaving fingerprints behind." With that thought, I set the drawer down on the counter very close to me. He did exactly what I'd hoped, he grabbed the drawer and slid it close to him. As he took out all of the money, which wasn't a lot at all, I just stood there, calm, scanning him over and over. He put the money and rolls of coins in his pockets, while keeping the gun pointed at me. I looked at the gun and noticed that it was a revolver. It was rusty and old looking, but I wasn't willing to find out if it could still shoot bullets or not.

When he was done, he started walking backwards toward the front door. As he walked out of the door he yelled, "Call them! Call them all!" I immediately ran to the phone and called 911. While I was on the phone with them, I realized that I hadn't locked the front door. What if he had friends outside, just waiting to come in and rape me? What if he realized he hadn't gotten much money and came back? I told the 911 operator to hold on and I ran to lock the front door. That's when I started crying. I guess the flood of emotions hit me all at once. I gave the 911 operator a perfect description of him. She was really impressed with how much I remembered.

A few minutes later, the police showed up. They did all of the normal police stuff, which kept me there until 2 in the morning on a school night. As it turned out, he was the same guy who robbed us the night before. Fortunately, they quickly found him at the 7-11 right around the corner, trying to get cash for the rolls of coins he stole from us. They said that he was a meth addict, who was in jail but released early due to his AIDS status. The officer said that they early-released a lot of people with high maintenance medical issues who weren't felons. I don't know if that's still a common practice in Florida, but according to the officer, it was at the time.

I never found out if the gun was real, loaded, or functional. But like I said before, I wasn't willing to take the chance over $80 that wasn't even mine.

The End.

Hairy Situation

2011-03-29T11:16:00.002-04:00

Here is a conversation that took place over the phone yesterday.

*Ring Ring*

Me: "Hey Boogie."
Ethan: "Hey Mommy."
Me: "What's up?"
Ethan: "Do we have a pair of scissors that I can keep just for myself?"
Me: "As far as I know, we only have the one pair of scissors in the kitchen. But I can get you a pair. What do you need them for?"
Ethan: "You don't want to know."
Me: "Well I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know."
Ethan: "Are you sure you want to know?"
Me: "Please tell me you're not wanting scissors to cut your pubic hairs."
Ethan: "Maybe...."
Me: "Oh my God! Are they really that long that you need to start trimming them? I mean you're twelve!"
Ethan: "See.."
Me: "NO! Forget I asked that! If you REALLY need to trim your pubes, you don't do it with scissors. You don't want to cut yourself down there."
Ethan: "Well what do I use?"
Me: "You would use a small hair trimmer. It looks like the clippers I use to cut your hair only smaller."
Ethan: "HAIR CLIPPERS?"
Me: "A smaller version of hair clippers, like a beard trimmer. Joe has one downstairs that he uses."
Ethan: "Joe trims his pubes?"
Me: "Sometimes."
Ethan: "How do you know? Have you seen him do it?"
Me: "No! He's just not good at getting all the hairs cleaned up. There's always a few strays on the rim of the toilet"
Ethan: "Gross! I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you."
Me: "Love you. Bye."
Ethan: "Love you, too. Bye."

Deep Throat of the Day: Can I get a mom pass to skip his puberty?

(p.s. Joe, if you're reading this, sorry I outed you to Ethan and the interwebs. Lover you bunches!)

Bailey

2011-03-21T07:24:00.003-04:00

Here is the newest addition to our family. Bailey! She is the beautiful puppy I spoke about in my last post. Things went exactly as I had hoped for; house visit on Saturday and we went to meet her on Sunday. She is absolutely beautiful. Her fur is a beautiful mixture of brown and black. She's a Pit mix. I think she's mixed with Lab, but it's hard to say for sure.

When we first met her she growled at us. She was apprehensive, but let us pet her and give her kisses. We took her for a short walk and she did well. When it was time to take her home, she didn't want to go. It broke our hearts. Her foster family had her for 2 months, so leaving them wasn't easy for her. When we put her in our car, she was shaking. I sat in the back with her, petting her, giving her kisses. She warmed up and laid across my lap. When we stopped for gas, Joe sat in the back with her, giving her lovins. We brought her to PetSmart, where she did absolutely wonderful.

She's adjusted to her new home nicely. We introduced her to our neighbor and his 12 y/o Boxer, Nikki, who I take for a walk every day. She even slept with us in bed last night. She follows us around the house like a shadow. What's funny is we thought of the name Shadow for her on our way to pick her up. Had we known that she would be this way, we might have chosen Shadow instead of Bailey. Although, I think Bailey fits her well.

We are all just so damn happy to have Bailey be a part of our family!

So happy

2011-03-17T13:33:00.003-04:00

Joe said we can get a dog as soon as possible! Originally he said we had to wait until after we got married because we're saving for our wedding. BUT, he's feeling the doggy itch, too. YAY! So, we're in the process of getting approved for adoption from a local Pit Rescue.

This adoption process is VERY thorough. You have to fill out an application online. In that application, they ask you a million questions. You are required to be a homeowner and have a fully fenced yard. Apparently, puppy Pits are stolen from yards often. Fences don't prevent them from being stolen, but it makes it slightly more difficult.

After the application, they do a phone interview. Once that's gone well, they call your references. If that process goes smoothly, they do a home visit. Then, if you're approved, you get to meet the dog(s) you're interested in and take them home that day if all goes well.

We have our eyes on a 6 month old Pit mix girl named Hannah. As you can see from the picture, she's just adorable! Her foster mom said that she's very much a lover. She likes to cuddle and is very playful. At first she was shy and timid, but she's opened up and those traits have gone away. She's fully potty and crate trained, which is very convenient. I can't wait!

We've done the phone interview and they've called one reference that I know of so far. Hopefully we can get the home visit done on Saturday, then meet Hannah on Sunday. If we absolutely love her during the meeting (which I know I will because I love most dogs) we will have a new member of our family come Sunday night! Things going so quickly may be wishful thinking on my part, but I know they want these dogs to find forever homes as soon as possible. So keep your fingers crossed!

Deep Throat of the Day: I hope I didn't just jinx us by writing this. =)

Three Years

2011-03-15T07:42:00.002-04:00

Three years ago today, I went on a date with a man who unknowingly made a hilarious comment prior to our date. After he made that comment and the truth about my leg came out, I gave him an opportunity to back out. (I know, I didn't write about that three years ago.) I told him, "Listen, if you don't want to go out on our date, I'd completely understand." He paused for what seemed like forever then said, "No. I still want to go out." I replied, "You paused! I swear you better not call me an hour before our date and make up some lame excuse to get out of it." He laughed and said, "Yes, I did pause. But you sound like a really cool girl and I want to go on a date with you."

We went on that date and had a good time. So much of a good time that three years later we're engaged!

Happy Third Anniversary, Baby! This has truly been the best three years of my life. Thank you for being so wonderful not only to me, but Ethan as well. I'm looking forward to spending forever with you.

One month already?

2011-03-10T17:47:00.002-05:00

*Sigh* Yes, today marks one month since we had to put Missy to sleep. It doesn't feel like it's been that long. Maybe because February is a short month? I don't know. All I know is that I miss her like crazy.

My neighbor, Sean, has a Boxer named Nikki. Nikki and I have become friends since Sean moved in. Last week, I asked Sean if I could take Nikki for walks during my lunch break. I used to walk Missy before she got sick, plus I'm missing dog interaction. He gave me the OK to walk her. He even told me that I could bring her over to our house whenever I wanted!

So, every day this week I've been taking Nikki for a walk. After our walk, she hangs out in our house with me, then I take her home. It's been nice to have that interaction, but it kinda makes me miss Missy even more.

There's a Pit Bull rescue not too far from here. I'm thinking about seeing if they need any volunteers. I'm sure they do, it's not like they turn down people offering to help for free. I'd REALLY love to foster a Pit or 2, but Joe says I'll get too attached and want to keep it. Shit! What does he know? (he's right, but don't tell him I said that.)

Today also marks 1 year of being smoke free! YAY! Electronic cigarettes are a life saver.

Deep Throat of the Day: It feels like yesterday.

Writing Meme?

2011-03-09T08:27:00.001-05:00

So Joe Nobody tagged me in a writing meme thing. Basically, I had to write my answers to the following on a piece of paper:

1. Your name and your blog’s name
2. Your website
3. Write “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.”
4. Your favorite quote.
5. Your favorite song.
6. Your favorite band.
7. Anything else you’d like to say to the class?

Then take a picture of it and post it. I'm not sure why I needed to write it...maybe to see my awful handwriting? Who knows. But I did it and here's the picture. Sorry for the poor quality. I used my camera phone.

I'm not going to tag anyone, but feel free to do this if you want.

The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

2011-03-07T17:24:00.007-05:00

Yesterday I was reading this post by Joker SATX. In the post he listed some observations from over the weekend. Some about himself, some about others and some about life in general. Overall, it was a good list. However, there were 2 observations in which I asked for clarification. One doesn't pertain to this post, so I'm only going to talk about the other one.

* There is no such thing as a truthful, honest and open relationship.

His response to my request for clarification was, "As to the first point. Give me your deepest darkest secret. Then let me speak with your significant other. Without your coaching, if I ask him would he know what that deepest darkest secret is?" I answered in more words but basically, "Yes."

Our exchange ended with him saying that I'm lucky although due to his pessimism, he doesn't believe it. And I completely understand that as I was once one of those people. After all, I was in a marriage without honesty and trust. The only thing open was our bedroom. (Yay for threesomes!) As a matter of fact, prior to Joe, I hadn't had a relationship that included honesty, trust or openness. But don't get me wrong, I'm just as guilty as they were.

It was after my marriage that I knew exactly what I wanted. No more lies. No more secrets. No more settling. No more pretending to be something I'm not.

I went into my relationship with Joe, not looking for anything serious. But he was so real and sincere. We hit it off tremendously well. I was able to be ME. The goofy, passionate, opinionated ME. And he accepted me just the way I was. On our second date, he told me some personal things about himself that he normally would've hidden. He wanted me to know those things about him so I would know HIM and not the person he thought I'd like. As it turns out, HE is the person I'm quite fond of.

I believe it was his honesty on our second date, combined with the strong connection we felt, that laid the path of honesty and trust we're on today. It was very hard for him to tell me the things he told me on our second date. I saw the vulnerability in his eyes.

From then on we have been honest with each other. Well, there were 2 things. One was a lie on my part. The first time I showered in his shower, I fell down. Hey, balancing on one leg while taking a shower isn't easy! I told him that I dropped the bottle of shampoo. I felt so guilty for lying that I came clean the next day.

The other thing was a secret. It was something from my past that was very embarrassing for me to admit. I was ashamed of what I had done and it's definitely something that could make someone think differently of me. I didn't tell him about it until after he proposed. There were many, many times that I wanted to tell him. It weighed heavily on my mind for a long time. But after he proposed, I knew I had to tell him. I couldn't keep a secret like that from someone who wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. So, I told him. He didn't even blink an eye.

I feel like I've been in enough relationships which were filled with lies that I can tell I'm in one that isn't. Maybe I'm naive for feeling that way but I don't think so. And I certainly don't feel that there's no such thing as an honest and open relationship. From what I know, Kira has a solid, honest, open relationship, as do Another Suburban Mom and Hubman.

What do you guys think? Is it naive to believe that honest and open relationships exist?

Exactly the same but different

2011-03-07T13:04:00.003-05:00

Lately I've been looking online, trying to find different recipes for dinner. The staples in our house are steak, chicken, pork chops and fish. I've generally always made them the same way. After a while, that gets old. There's a world of spices out there beyond salt and pepper, I just never knew which ones to use and on what meat.

I've found several yummy recipes so far. Last week I made a really juicy, delicious pork chop dish that was a hit with the guys. I tweaked the recipe a bit, based on the recommendation of one of the reviewers, and added some rosemary and thyme to the rub. Total yummy in my tummy.

Anyway, this post isn't about the food I made or want to make, it's about the reviews. I read review after review of people who make comments like, "This dish is absolutely PERFECT! I didn't use the sage or salt, instead I used garlic powder and lemon pepper seasoning. I also didn't cook it in the pan, I just put it in the oven for 30 minutes at 350 degrees." Basically, the only thing they used that the recipe called for was the damn piece of meat! Shit, they didn't even cook it the same way.

There are so many reviews like this. And to be honest, it slightly pisses me off. The review should be of the recipe posted. Sure, people tweak recipes to their liking all the time. Instead of 2 tablespoons of salt, they'll use 1. Maybe they'll use an onion instead of shallots. Little things that still make the recipe "the recipe" but to that persons taste.

People will give the recipe 5 stars! How do they even know what the recipe posted tastes like if they didn't even use the majority of the ingredients?

I know, I know, there are more important things going on in the world for me to be bitching about dumbasses posting ridiculous reviews on a recipe website. I just wanted to write about it because I'm short on posting material.

Deep Throat of the Day: A peppercorn filet (pictured above) recipe is in store for tonight! Yummy!

Having a bad day?

2011-03-03T09:01:00.001-05:00

Or did you need a good laugh? Maybe something to make you smile?

This short video is just the best!

Insecure much?

2011-02-25T11:44:00.001-05:00

The other morning I was listening to the radio while getting ready for work. A man had called in saying that his wife was mad at him because he's been hiding pieces of her matching lingerie. Apparently the wife likes to wear a matching bra and panty set every day. The husband doesn't like this. He believes that if she goes to work feeling sexy, that she'll be more inclined to cheat. Therefore, he's been taking either the bras or the panties of the matching sets, leaving her with no matching sets.

My ex used to think that if I shaved my vagina before going out with my friends, that I was doing it for other men. I had to inform him that I shave my vagina for ME. I don't shave it for him or any other man, not to mention that I've been shaving long before I met him.

I feel like the guy on the radio and my ex both sound like insecure assholes. You have to trust your significant other. During my entire marriage, trust never existed. Don't get me wrong, that went both ways. I didn't trust him as far as I could throw him. However, I never accused him of getting ready to cheat when he did his manscaping. I never sniffed his underwear for the scent of pussy when he came home from being out all night with his friends. I never made him send me pictures of where he was when he called to tell me he was stuck in traffic. Those are all things he did to me. Crazy, right? Now you know one of the reasons I'm divorced.

But anyway, I'm curious to know what you guys think. Do you think that a woman wearing a matching bra and underwear will be more inclined to cheat?

Deep Throat of the Day: Insecurity is so unbecoming.

The LAST Day: Day 30

2011-02-17T08:12:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 30: A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Dear April,

Since you committed yourself to doing this damn Thirty Days of Truth thing, you HAVE to write yourself a letter. You HAVE to tell yourself everything you love about yourself. So, here it goes....

I love that I'm a trusting person, even though it can come back to bite me in the ass sometimes. I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to.

I love my sense of humor, as cheezy at it may be.

I love that I can laugh at myself.

I love the way I love people.

I love my boobs.

I love that I'm a good judge of character. I'm usually never wrong about a person.

I love that I'd rather give than receive. (and I don't just mean sexually, either)

I love my ass.

I love my ability to empathize with people.

And thus I conclude my letter and Thirty Days of Truth.

Love,
April

Life without Missy

2011-02-16T10:36:00.003-05:00

I know I just wrote a long post about Missy, but I really feel like I need to get my feelings out. Tomorrow will be a week since we put her to sleep. I hate that term because most people wake up from sleeping. Anyway, I'm not crying as much but I do find myself crying at least 2 times a day. Not full on tears down my face, but my eyes will well up. I quickly stop myself from full-on crying.

Joe and I talk about her just about every day. We remember things about her, things she used to do and her quirks. He actually started writing down the big memories he has, which I feel is therapeutic for him. My biggest hurdle is probably routine. So much of my daily routine involved Missy and I'm really having a hard time with that.

The house feels so empty without her in it. I know Joe and Ethan are both there, and I'm very thankful for that. Yet somehow, without Missy, I don't feel as complete. Missy made our family complete. Although, I feel like it wasn't Missy, specifically, but more so a dog. Don't get me wrong, Missy was an amazing dog and I loved her very, very much. It's just that the joy a dog brings to my life is unique. It's not a joy that can be found in a human.

I brought up getting another dog to Joe. He said that we have to wait until after we get married in June for financial reasons. And he's right. It sucks, but he's right. I think it's also good to just have those few months to grieve. Because as it stands, Missy is still fresh in our minds, thoughts and habits.

There's so many things we do in the house that make us think about her. Little things that just became habit. For example, when someone would ring our doorbell, Missy would go nuts. The other night when the pizza guy rang the bell, Joe and I both immediately thought, "Gotta get Missy." That thought only lasted for a split second, but it's just proof that she's still fresh on our minds.

We did decide that we will get another Pit Bull/Pit mix from a rescue, when we get another dog in June. Not only do Pits get the short end of the stick because of misconceptions, but they are one of the best snuggle breeds you can find. Joe found a great video on YouTube about Pit Bulls. It makes me cry like a baby. I couldn't watch it the first time he showed it to me, but I've since watched it several times.

The BEST thing we all loved about Missy was how much she loved to snuggle. It was seriously THE BEST. She just loved to have some part of her body touching yours. While we don't want a dog who is exactly like Missy was, we would like a dog who loves to snuggle. I'm sure we'll find that in a Pit.

I want to thank each of you who wrote kind words to me on my post, Missing Missy. You have no idea how much that meant to me. You guys really are the best.

Day 29

2011-02-16T08:03:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

I'd really like to be more patient. I really lack patience in certain situations, a lot of them involving my son.

I'd also like to become more active. When I think about how much I don't do physically, it's pretty depressing.

Green eyes would be nice.......

Day 28

2011-02-15T08:00:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Shoot myself! No really, Joe and I have talked about having kids. Although we're undecided about having a planned baby, we did come to the conclusion that if I were to unexpectedly get pregnant, we'd have the baby.

Only 2 more days of this 30 days of truth! WOO HOO!

Day 27

2011-02-14T08:47:00.001-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?

It should be "who" in my case, and I'm sure you could guess the 2 people....

***************************************************************

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Missing Missy

2011-02-11T11:00:00.009-05:00

If you're my friend on Facebook, you may already know that last night we had to put our dog, Missy, to sleep.

About 6 months ago, we woke up one morning to find Missy with facial paralysis on one side of her face. We took her to the Vet and she was diagnosed with Lymphoma. We put her on the strongest chemo treatment available and things were looking promising. The Vet was extremely pleased with how well she was responding to the treatment. Her face was almost back to normal and her blood work was what it should've been.

Then about 2 months ago, she starting having issues with her hind legs. Joe had taken her for a really long, hard walk through the woods behind our house. We brought her to the Oncologist and she could not figure out what was wrong. After having 4 other specialists look at her, it was determined at that time that she had either a muscle tear or sprain. We put her bed rest and some meds and she got better.

The hind legs started to look funny again so after consulting with the Vet, we put her back on the meds and best rest. Again she got better. Then gradually we started noticing that her front legs were looking funny. She started having a hard time getting up on the couch and bed. We made an appointment for her to see the Vet yesterday.

Joe carried her out to my car because of her difficulty getting up and down the stairs. I noticed when she was in my back seat that she couldn't put her left paw down. She kept trying to put it down but she could not unbend her "wrist" joint to get the paw down.

When I got to the Vet, I got her out of my car. The parking lot was icy, causing her to slip and slide. She plopped to the ground and looked up at me like, "Sorry, I can't do it." I stood there, in the parking lot, next to Missy, just crying. I knew it was bad. I called for one of the vet techs who was walking a boarded dog to help me. Together we carried her inside. She couldn't stand or walk at all. We laid her down on the floor and I plopped down on the floor with her. At that point I couldn't stop crying.

The Vet came out and helped me carry her to the exam room. I told him what was going on with her. After doing some neurological tests, he said that he felt she had another tumor on the ride side of her brain. He recommended that I take her to the Neurologist that day.

I called Joe and told him that I couldn't do this today by myself. Physically and emotionally, I was unable to deal with the situation alone. He turned around and met me back at the house.

We sat and seriously talked about her situation and the possibility of putting her to sleep. He felt that we had to do it that night. I felt that we had to get validation from the Neurologist before I was comfortable agreeing with him.

We took her to the Neurologist together. After she did a series of neurological tests on Missy, she said that the lymphoma had spread throughout her spinal cord and brain stem. Because we had already had Missy on the strongest chemo, there were no other options. There was the validation.

We called a Vet who will put your pet to sleep in your home. He said he could be at our house between 6:30pm and 7:00pm. We spent our remaining time with Missy loving on her. We fed her all of the yummy people food that she wasn't allowed to eat before, including mashed potatoes, ice cream and Doritos.

When the Vet arrived, we brought her upstairs and laid her on her doggy bed. We laid around her, holding her and giving her kisses. He first gave her some anesthesia to put her to sleep. When he was sure that she was completely out of it, he then injected the pink medicine of doggy death into her left front leg. I had my head on the side of her chest. I listened as her heart stopped beating. Then I watched her take 3 quick breaths. Those were her last.

He put the stethoscope to her chest and pronounced her dead.

And it fucking hurts. So, so bad.

Some people do not understand how people get so attached to their pets. I was once one of those people. But I get it now. They're amazing, loyal, loving pets. And I know that I'm supposed to remember the good times so I'm going to list the good things about Missy.

Missy loved to spoon! She was happy to see me every time I walked in the door. She would get jealous when Joe and I would kiss or hug. Every time she saw Ethan, she would grab her favorite toy to play tug. If she was laying next to me, and I didn't have my hand touching her somewhere, she would make this low, whining, growl sound until you put your hand on her. It didn't matter where, as long as it was on her. She thought she only weighed 10 pounds. I know this because she felt it was OK to put her entire 70 pound body on top of mine.

Every time she farted, she wouldn't look at you. She would turn her head away and then leer at you from the corner of her eye. The mailman was her nemesis. Whenever he'd put the mail in our mail slot, she would bark and run up the stairs, through the kitchen, slide on the dining room floor and then stick her snout through the mail slot. If she was lucky, there would still be mail there, which she would rip out of the mailmans hands!

Missy loved watching me cook. She would stand there in the kitchen, just waiting for a morsel of food to fall to the floor. Then she'd suck it up like a vacuum. When I'd make mashed potatoes, she'd stand right next to me. I'd always let her lick the beaters when I was done. If I wasn't fast enough, she'd do that low, whining growl sound. Against Joe's wishes, I would let Missy lay next to me when I was eating. Her nose would get closer and closer to my food until I'd say, "Missy!" Then she'd quickly move her head away. Occasionally, she'd sneak a lick off my plate.

She LOVED being outside. She would stand at the top of the hill in our back yard and just look around for something to bark at. We let her sleep with us in the bed. She somehow would manage to have her entire body between my legs, and she'd rest her head on my thigh.

I taught her to give kisses. I taught her to bark when I'd say, "Do you love me?" I taught her to bark when I'd ask, "Do you want a treat?"

When I took her for rides in the car, she would squeeze her head in between my seat and the inside of the car, and plop her head on my left shoulder as I was driving.

I could go on with the happy memories, but this post is long enough. Just know that Missy was a great dog and she was loved just as unconditionally as she loved us.

Day 26

2011-02-11T08:33:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

There was one time. It was after my car accident, but before my amputation. I was 2.5 hours away from home at UVA Hospital. I was NOT healing the way I was supposed to be and I was there a LOT longer than I should've been. Then 9-11-01 happened. It was sheer madness. They brought some of the burn victims from the Pentagon to UVA. I was on the Severe Burn & Trauma Unit. I couldn't get in touch with my family or anyone for that matter. Add that to already being depressed and it was a recipe for an emotional disaster.

(2 more days 'til my birthday!)

Day 25

2011-02-10T07:31:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

I'm still alive today because it's just not my time to go. Period.

(3 more days 'til my birthday!)

Day 24

2011-02-09T07:56:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Ok, so I'm going to change this up a little. I'm going to pick 2 songs for Joe and 2 songs for Ethan. Then I'll provide short explanations as to why I picked the songs. I'll try to include links to the songs on YouTube so you can hear them.

Songs for Joe:

Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts
*I picked this song because the lyrics describe how I feel, completely and absolutely. I have dealt with a LOT of shit in my past. But now having Joe in my life, by my side, makes it all worth it. Plus it's a beautiful song.

Smile by Uncle Kracker
*I picked this song because one day out of nowhere, Joe said to me, "I heard a song today and it made me think of you!" That song was Smile. He searched for it and we listened to it together. It was a sweet moment that I'll never forget.

Songs for Ethan:

I Could Not Ask For More by Edwin McCain (or Sara Evans, but Edwin sang it first)
*I picked this song because I remember first hearing it when Ethan was a baby. I was at home, sitting on my couch, holding Ethan in my arms. MTV (back when they played a lot of videos and not stupid shit) was on and on came this video. I really listened to the lyrics, and although most people would think of a lover for this song, I thought of my son. I thought of how much I loved him and how I truly could not have asked for more. So yeah, every time I hear this song, I think of Ethan.

Parents Just Don't Understand by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
*I chose this song because Ethan's now at that age where he thinks he knows everything. He gets upset when I won't let him do things that are completely inappropriate for kids his age to do. He'll roll his eyes at me and say, "Gosh! You just don't get it." Yeah, son, parents just don't understand!

Day 23

2011-02-08T08:51:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.

I wish I would've continued to go to school after I got my degree. As I mentioned in a previous post, I just feel like I could be and do so much more. However, I'm pretty sure I'm going to go back to school (eventually). It just would've been a LOT easier to do back then.

I also wish that I had done Vick one more time before I moved to Virginia. Even though the first 2 times were really, really quick and orgasmless for me, I know the third time would've been the charm! He was REALLY REALLY HOT and had a great penis. That's all I'm going to say about that.

(5 more days 'til my birthday!)

A Meme Monday

2011-02-07T11:18:00.001-05:00

To break away from the Thirty Days of Truth, I thought I'd steal this meme from Another Suburban Mom. I also answered these questions yesterday so some of the answers may seem off.

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
I have a small scar on the right side of my lip. Most people don't notice it though. I got it when I was 3. I was on the playground in preschool, running around pretending to be Wonder Woman. I turned around to make sure my friend was following me. When I turned back around I ran right into the corner of a building.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM
Nothing. I gotta do something about that. It's literally the only room in the house without something on the walls.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
I snore when my nose is stuffed up. The dentist said I grind my teeth. And I've been told that I've said something in my sleep, but I'm not sure if it's a habit or not.

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
I like many different types of music. What I listen to really depends on my mood.

5. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
11:53pm. 7 minutes before Valentines Day.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Well, since I'm typing this on Sunday morning, I'm wanting the Packers to win the Super Bowl. But in general, I just want to remain happy. I'm completely content with my life and I'm happier than I've ever been!

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
I miss scrapbooking. I was really into it a couple years ago but once I left my ex, it went to the wayside. I'm hoping to get back into it soon because I have a lot of great pictures of my life with Joe. And a bunch of Ethan.

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
I don't have much. I really love my engagement ring. I also have a $20 bill from 1929 that's pretty cool.

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
5'4"

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Nope.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Yes. I know it's silly because I'm a grown ass woman, but I do. I swear I hear everything when it's dark.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
Ethan. He walked up to me with a really long nail in his hand and said, "Wanna see what I can do?" as he scratched his nose. I knew he just put that nail up his nose and I flipped out.

13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
My son dying before me.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON PEOPLE YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?
I really like dark hair. Green eyes are just gorgeous, but I've seen very sexy brown and blue eyes as well.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
Well, I've never seen myself proposing to anyone. Plus, I'm already engaged.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Coffee.

17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Mushrooms.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
An omelette with cheese, ham, mushrooms and onions.

19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
Green.

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
No.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?
A fake rose. My son was at this skating rink and they had these games that would give you tickets. The kids could then buy things with the tickets. He used every single ticket he'd won to buy me a fake, fabric rose. I still have that rose in my car. It sits on the little ledge below the odometer.

22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
I have celebrity crushes.

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
Nope.

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
I don't really have a favorite. Although for jeans, I really like the way American Eagle jeans fit me. I own like 10 pairs of them thanks to Ebay.

25. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FEMALE/MALE CELEBRITY?
Female: Pink - Male: Morgan Freeman

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
Yes.

27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
A dog, Missy.

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Yes. They say you can't help who you fall in love with.

29. Which is the number skipped on this meme?
36

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED?
13

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
No preference.

32. FAVORITE QUOTE?
"Well behaved women seldom make history."

33. FAVORITE PLACE?
Home.

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR HOME COUNTRY?
Yes. I've been to Colombia, Venezuela, St. Thomas and Mexico. I'd like to go to Europe.

35. WEAKNESSES?
I lack patience. I'm also disorganized.

37. FIRST JOB?
Dunkin Donuts.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Yeah. What prepubescent kid hasn't?

39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOUL MATE?
I don't know. I'd like to think so but it's really hard to know for sure.

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU DID STEALING?
Playing Bejeweled Blitz.

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
Yes. A lot of them.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
My hair and smile.

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
No, I've been blessed with straight teeth.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Well, it's actually next Sunday. I'd like to get some scrapbooking stuff so I can start doing it again. But I'd also like a party. I haven't had a birthday party since I was like 10.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND WHAT DO YOU WANT THEIR NAMES TO BE? (OR IF YOU HAVE KIDS, TELL US ABOUT THEM.)
I have one son, Ethan. He'll be 13 in July. He's outgoing, caring, smart and funny. He's currently into wearing skinny jeans and the Justin Beiber hair cut. *cringe*

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope. My parents named me April because they met in April.

47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE SEX(ES) YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?
Lying and insecurity.

48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKED ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
I loved being in the band.

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Dove Daily Moisture. That shit's the bomb, yo.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Not so much. Sometimes I'll look at it and think, "Why can't I write like that all the time?"

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Roast beef.

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
I pick the skin of my cuticles as a nervous habit. But I'm starting to do it all the time.

53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
Not at all.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I think I would be.

55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
Yes I do. But I think that not everyone is capable of handling that situation.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Of course they do. It's not the most important thing, but it is important.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
I usually curse a lot.

58. WOULD YOU RATHER GAIN 58 POUNDS OR LOSE 58 POUNDS?
Neither. 58 pounds for me in either direction wouldn't be healthy.

59. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?
To raise my son into a good man and have a happy life.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
I love the Light Bright.

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
112

62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
I am way too old. Who wrote this meme anyway, a teenager?

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Uh, yeah.

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
Mashed potatoes. But they have to be real. Not that boxed shit.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A LOVER?
Someone who is trustworthy, honest, secure, funny, smart, listens well, communicates well, and is able to compromise.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Gimpy

67. FAVORITE SUPER POWER?
Flying.

68. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
I like Fringe, House, Bones and Criminal Minds.

69. WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE THAT YOU DON'T LIKE?
I try to ignore them. If I can't ignore them then I try to be nice.

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Vanilla and Chocolate Fudge checkers from Breyers.

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
Nope. I have all of my fingers but only 5 toes.

72. SO IS IT GOING TO BE THE STEELERS OR THE PACKERS?
GO PACK GO!

73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
We're going to a Packers bar in DC.

74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU RETIRE?
I'd like to go back to Florida. Or maybe Arizona.

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
I'm not passing it on to anyone. If anyone wants to do it, they can.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
The water in the fish tank.

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Coffee.

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Ethan.

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE SEX(ES) YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?
Teeth and eyes.

80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
Play Bejeweled Blitz or Zuma.

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
How do you have a favorite thing to hate? I hate the Patriots, specifically Tom Brady. Does that count?

82. FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR?
It used to be fall, but now it's spring. The weather starts to get warmer after the shitty winter. The leaves grow back, flowers grow. Everything starts to look pretty again.

83. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY?
Chocolate. I like Nerds, too.

84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
Yes.

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
Right now it's brown with blonde highlights.

86. EYE COLOR?
Brown.

87. SHOE SIZE?
7.5

88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Subway

89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
I love Outback. If we are getting fancy, there is nothing like a Ruth's Chris. (I'm keeping this answer from ASM, as it's exactly what I was going to say.)

90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
Yes.

91. WATCH TV TODAY?
I will be watching the Super Bowl.

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Thanksgiving.

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
I played the baritone horn for 9 years.

94. POLITICAL PARTY?
I am socially liberal and fiscally conservative.

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
Both.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Relationships. Though I have had one night stands.

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
Shoes for Ethan.

98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSE SPOUSE?
NO. I would go crazy!

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
I don't read books.

100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE:
I'm engaged to a wonderful man who makes me happier than I've ever been. We really never argue and we get along extremely well.

Would you?

2011-02-07T10:26:00.000-05:00

Ethan has a friend, John, who is one of eight children. John has never been allowed to spend then night at our house. I had just assumed that none of their children were allowed to spend the night at their friends' houses. Then Ethan asked John why none of them were allowed to spend the night away from home, to which John replied, "We are. I'm just not allowed to spend the night at houses without married parents."

I had something very similar to me happen when I was growing up. I was friends with these twin girls in my neighborhood. Every time the girls would ask their mom if they could stay the night, she'd say no. I noticed they were allowed to stay the night at other houses, so one day I grew balls and asked the mom why. She replied, "You don't have a mother living in your house. I don't feel comfortable letting my girls stay the night in a house with just a dad and no mom."

I don't understand this line of thinking. There is one house where I won't let Ethan stay the night and it's only because the dad is completely irresponsible. He lets the kids do whatever they want, whenever they want. Before I knew this, I would let Ethan stay the night there. Then I found out that he let them play outside, running around the neighborhood, until they decided to come in at 1:30 in the morning.

Joe and I are very responsible people. We have structure and discipline in our house. No, we're not married yet, but that doesn't make us any less a family or any less responsible.

Personally, I feel like it's an insult to not let a child stay at our house because we're not married. I get that maybe the parents are religious and maybe they don't want their son to think that "living in sin" is OK. But I still think it's ridiculous. We're in the year 2011 and the reality is that more and more couples are living together before marriage.

What do you feel about the situation? Would you let your child stay the night at a house with an unwed couple? What about a single parent?

Day 22

2011-02-07T08:44:00.001-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life

I've really been thinking about this question and it's a hard one to answer. Everything I've done in my life has brought me to where I am now. And I really like where I am now.

OH, I just thought of something. I wish I hadn't quit playing the baritone horn. I never owned one, so it was hard to keep playing after school, but I still miss it. I miss making music. I miss the beautiful sounds I could make with that horn. It was awesome.

I also wish that I hadn't worn my bangs the height of the Eiffel Tower back in middle school. Those pictures still haunt me. I'm surprised I didn't get nicknamed The Wall.

The Big Game

2011-02-06T10:42:00.004-05:00

The Big Game? How stupid is it that people have to say The Big Game? But I digress...

IT'S THE MOTHERFUCKIN' SUPER BOWL TODAY BITCHES!! It's no secret that I am a Packers fan. I wear my foam cheesehead (or hardhat) and Donald Driver jersey (it says Double D on the back!) proudly. Today will be no different. Today, I'm going to a Packers bar in DC and I'll be cheering along side my fellow cheeseheads. And I'm fucking stoked!

And I'm scared.

Yes, I can admit that the Steelers with their rapey QB have me a little scared. Just look at Polamalu. That fucker running at you with all of that hair is enough to scare The Rock.

Ok. In all seriousness, I'm worried that we'll choke. Sure we've done well in the playoffs and showed up the last half of the season. But that doesn't mean I forget about the handful of games in which they underperformed. Shit, I went to see them play the Redskins in week 5 and we lost. TO THE FUCKING REDSKINS!

Of course I want us to win. I think we truly deserve it. But most of all, I hope it's a great game. I don't want it to be a blowout. Unless it's us beating the shit out of the Steelers.

So, here's to a great Super Bowl! GO PACK GO!!!

Day 21

2011-02-04T08:26:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Boy some of these questions are just silly. Everyone knows you'd hope she was dead so you can take her awesome shoes and prey on her mourning boyfriend!

I kid! I kid!

What do I do? I go to be by my best friend's side! That's what best friends do.

Paradise

2011-02-03T11:11:00.018-05:00

Joe and I went to Cancun a couple weeks ago for a destination wedding. The resort we stayed at, Azul Beach Hotel, was on the smaller side. It's a family friendly, all inclusive resort about 20 minutes from the Cancun airport. And it was absolutely gorgeous. The resort, the beach, the restaurants, the service, the food, EVERYTHING was just awesome.

What I really liked about this place is that I never felt like it was crowded. Even with 3 weddings going on that weekend, there was a lot of breathing room. Most of the staff were friendly and eager to help. For the most part, their English wasn't too bad. I can understand more Spanish than I can speak, but I was still able to communicate with even the poorest English speakers. I am now a professional in Spanglish.

As you can see from this picture, the beach was lined with these little huts. Each hut was basically a covered bed with sheer curtains. Our room was behind that last, big palm tree on the right. Every morning we'd go out on the balcony and just sit in peace. It was so relaxing.

Excuse the mess in the background of this picture. I took it right after we got home so our shit was everywhere. Anyway, each day a woman had a table set up on the beach, full of ceramics you could paint. I painted 2 things. The first was a pretty picture frame. That turned out so well that I had to paint something for my mom. I painted her this beautiful candle-shiner-through thingy. On the back side of it there's a larger opening where you can put a tea light or small candle. The light shines through the top and the holes of the flowers. Very pretty.

While the wedding was beautiful, it was a tad tedious. Even the bride was a little disappointed by it. Apparently to get married in Mexico, the bride and groom have to sign and thumb print 3 different pieces of paper. Then 2 witnesses for the bride and 2 witnesses for the groom had to come up and also sign those 3 papers. So during the ceremony, we had to watch 18 different signatures being signed and 6 thumb prints. She knew that all of that was required, she just didn't know it would be DURING the ceremony. However, it was still beautiful and they're officially married.

Here's a few pictures of us. These 2 are in the hallway that breaks off of the main lobby, which was gorgeous.

Don't mind Joe looking like a pimp with his half unbuttoned white shirt and hairy chest. He'd been drinking all day and really wanted to go shirtless. I told him that since we were going to dinner and the bar, it would be best to wear a shirt. He had had it completely unbuttoned but some of the guys made fun of him. I think he looks sexy regardless.

I guess when you get married in Mexico, they think balloons are appropriate. We were a little confused when they brought them out because after all, we were at a wedding, not a kids birthday party. But as you can see, we still made good use of them!

The only thing that sucked about the trip was that we were there for the NFC championship game. And the wedding started an hour before the game. Who does that? How inconsiderate! Anyway, I was so worried that they wouldn't have the game available to watch. But they did, complete with Spanish commentary! It was definitely more fun watching my Packers kick some ass in Spanish.

All in all, I had an amazing time. It was a nice, warm, relaxing break from home. If I ever go back to Mexico, I would definitely go during a winter month and I would definitely go back to Azul Beach Hotel. It just sucks that we came back to snow and ice.

Day 20

2011-02-03T08:14:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol

Moderation is key.

Having an alcoholic father and having been in a marriage that failed primarily due to pain meds, you would think that I would be against the use of drugs and alcohol. I'm not. Again, it's all about moderation.

There are some people who do not have the ability to use drugs or alcohol without going overboard. Those people should probably stay away from them.

I feel like as long as you're not putting yourself or others in danger and you're able to control yourself from going off the deep end, then have at it.

But of course, I'm not talking about all drugs either. I do not feel that all drugs are created equally. I'm just going to stop here, but only after saying that yes, I have tried and done drugs in the past. But not anymore. And I do enjoy a glass or 2 of wine pretty much every day. And I will get my drink on when we have a girls night out. But I will not, under any circumstances, drive home drunk.

Day 19

2011-02-02T08:11:00.004-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Is this a pick one type question or do they want me to answer both? Very weirdly worded, I think. I'll attempt to answer both.

Religion. I do not follow organized religion. While I'm sure not ALL churches are bad, I just feel like there's way too many things wrong with churches. (Can you say Westboro Baptist Church?) I have met entirely too many people who claim to be religious but are the biggest hypocrites I've met.

I do believe there is a higher entity, though. I can't say that it's necessarily the same God that's talked about in the bible, but a higher entity nonetheless.

Politics. Just as fucked up as religion, if not more. I really hate the idea of having 2 main parties. In my opinion, it's hard to subscribe to all the beliefs of one party. I consider myself socially liberal but fiscally conservative. In general, the democratic party is NOT fiscally conservative and the republicans are NOT socially liberal.

This is a problem for me when voting. Do I vote for the candidate who is against abortion but wants to limit government spending? Or the candidate who is for abortion but wants to spend billions of dollars on bailouts and stimulus packages? (these are rhetorical questions and for the most part, hypothetical situations)

I used to go with the candidate who I felt the most passionate about. That usually ended up being the candidate who held the same social beliefs. As I'm getting older and experiencing life, I'm going with the candidates who are more fiscally conservative. Why? Because even though I would LOVE to vote for the person who is going to allow gays to marry and keep abortion legal, I love my bank account and retirement fund even more. Selfish? Definitely. But I feel like those feel-good social issues are ones that I can still support and fight for without a vote.

Day 18

2011-02-01T08:46:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.

As they say, everyone should have the right to be miserable. I kid, I kid. Seriously, I'm all for it. I do not feel that any reason given from the anti gay marriage people is valid. When they use religion as their reason, I get pissed. Why? Because gay people getting married do not in any way have an effect on these religious nuts. So basically it's them judging others, which the bible says not to do.

The main reason for marriage is love. Love is love. It doesn't know gender, religion, race, or sexual preferences. If 2 people love each other enough to make a commitment of marriage, then let them get married. Who cares if they're the same sex or not!

Day 17

2011-01-31T08:21:00.003-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

This is sad, but I don't read much. Reading makes me very sleepy, regardless of how interesting the book is. But I will say that when Ethan was in kindergarten, his teacher told me that she thought he had ADHD and that I should medicate him. I read the book Ritalin Is Not The Answer which really gave me a great perspective on ADHD and the meds prescribed for it. The book provided ways for parents to discipline their children in a way that works for them. It also talked about diet and other factors that may cause children to exhibit traits of ADHD. Basically it helped parents deal with their possible ADHD children without putting them on medication.

In case you're curious, I did take him to a doctor back then to get him tested for ADHD and the doctor said, "He is a typical boy. The problem isn't him, it's the teachers. Now-a-days they all want these cookie-cutter children who do no wrong. When the kids act like kids, the teachers either don't know how to handle them or don't want to. It's easier to dope the kid up than to teach him how to behave in a classroom setting."

Day 16

2011-01-28T08:17:00.002-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.

I could definitely live without my boss being a micro-manager. I could live without him spending 10 minutes telling me something that could've been said in 30 seconds. Although I couldn't live without my job, so I am definitely thankful for having one.

Day 15

2011-01-27T08:05:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

I would have to say Joe. We lived almost 2 hours apart when we first met. Waiting all week to see him used to make me crazy. Since we've lived together over 2 years now, I couldn't imagine what it would be like to live without him.

Day 14

2011-01-26T08:15:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 14: A hero that has let you down.

Since I couldn't think of a close, personal hero to me that's let me down, I'm going to go with Brett Favre. Brett was golden in my eyes. He was amazing and the epitome of all that is good in Green Bay. Then the waffling started. For a couple of years, the entire off seasons were spent talking about whether or not he was going to retire. First he'd have this tear-jerking announcement that he was retiring, then he'd state he was coming back. Retiring, coming back. And so on. But even with the waffling, he was still a hero to me.

Then he waffled one too many times. Green Bay decided they were going to go with Aaron Rogers after Brett announced his retirement and decided he wanted to come back. No one will ever REALLY know what truly happened between Brett and Ted Thompson. Even then I didn't hate him.

He went to the Jets and I still cheered for him but the Packers still remained my team. Then he went to Minnesota. I was devastated. I know he ONLY went there to spite the Packers. I started to dislike him a little, but I still watched him play with a spot in my heart for him.

But now all of the voice messages and pictures of his penis he's sent to these women has really turned me away from him. It's a HUGE disappointment for me. He's shown his true colors and he's not a man I would ever consider a hero.

Day 13

2011-01-25T08:10:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days.

Garth Brooks and Jewel. Both of them have amazing voices and great songs. I can't count how many times I've turned to them when I was having a rough day.

And then there's DMX and Ludacris. Those were my go-to-guys when I used to spend time in traffic. There's nothing better than singing, "Move bitch, get out the way. Get out the way, bitch, get out the way" in traffic. Therapeutic, really.

Day 12

2011-01-24T08:05:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.

Oh gosh, I don't know. This is kind of a ridiculous question.

Day 11

2011-01-21T08:02:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

I get told often that people admire how strong I am. I know that it's directly related to how I deal with having lost my foot. However, I tend to feel that a lot (not all) of people would be the same way I am, it's just hard to know until you're actually IN that situation.

Day 10

2011-01-20T08:42:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Hmmm, this is a tough question. I honestly can't think of a single person who I need to let go of or wish I didn't know.

Day 09

2011-01-19T08:29:00.001-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 09: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Kim. I met Kim after I moved to Virginia. I was having a really hard time making TRUE friends. I had made a ton of acquaintances, but no actual friends. Then one day I was babysitting for a friend of my sister-in-law (she was also an acquaintance of mine) and Kim came to pick up the baby. (She was dating the acquaintances brother.) I had never met her before, but it was like we'd known each other for years. We sat and talked for hours.

Our friendship grew very strong, very fast. In no time at all we were partners in crime! (Well not REALLY, but you know what I mean.)She had a son who was 2 years older than Ethan, which was awesome. We'd do a ton of things together with the kids.

Then we both got engaged. I was her MOH and she was mine. Things were great. Then she got pregnant. I don't know what happened, but everything seemed to change. We drifted apart during her pregnancy. I wish I could explain exactly what happened. On my end, it has nothing to do with her getting pregnant. I've maintained great friendships with women who've gotten pregnant. It was very weird. After she had the baby, our hanging out together was almost extinct.

She now lives in Florida and had another baby. We are friends on Facebook, but we rarely keep in contact. I fondly think about her often. I miss her bunches.

************************************************************

On a side note, I'll be leaving for Cancun today! WOO HOO!! I've set up these posts in advance, so if you comment and I don't respond, it's because I'm laying on the white, sandy beach in Mexico! Be jealous.

Day 08

2011-01-18T08:27:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 08: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

My ex-husband and father are the 2 who come to mind. Although the ex and I are now friends. And I basically just ignore my dad. So, neither of them are causing problems for me at the moment.

Day 07

2011-01-17T07:59:00.000-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 07: Someone who has made your life worth living for.

This one was easy. Ethan.

I was young when I got pregnant (19) and going down the wrong path. I made a string of poor decisions which very well could've made the rest of my life VERY different than what it is today. Then Ethan came along. When I was pregnant I decided to "get right". I mended relationships, went back to college and got my shit together.

I love watching him grow up, even though it's sad at times. His personality and sense of humor are just amazing. HE is amazing. Sure he can annoy me, but he's my Boogie Woogie and I love him with every ounce of my being.

I have tried to be the very best mother I can possibly be to him. He changed my life completely, for the better. I'm a much better person because of him. Being a parent certainly isn't easy, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Day 06

2011-01-14T08:13:00.003-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 06: Something you hope you never have to do.

This one was easy. I hope to never have to bury my son. I cannot imagine outliving him regardless of his age. I cannot imagine my life on this earth without him.

Day 05

2011-01-13T08:04:00.003-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 05: Something you hope to do in your life.

There are a list of things I'd like to do. The first one is go back to school. I'd really like to be a Nurse Practitioner or Physician's Assistant. I feel that I'm way too smart to be doing the job I'm doing. I'd also like to learn how to fix cars, speak Spanish fluently, be a hair stylist, and travel Europe. But I really hope to raise my son into a good man.

Day 04

2011-01-12T08:19:00.001-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 04: Something you have to forgive someone for.

I suppose I have to forgive my dad for everything he's done to me over the years. I thought that I have forgiven him, but really I haven't. I feel like I've just stopped letting it bother me as badly rather than truly forgiving him. I did tell him once, a long time ago, that I forgive him. But then he keeps doing more shit. Am I supposed to keep forgiving him? I mean, at what point do you just say, "I am no longer going to forgive you because you do not learn from your mistakes. You will continue to be this way because it is who you are. I have accepted that you are this way and will never change, but I choose not to have you in my life."? Oh fuck it, I don't HAVE to forgive him if I don't want to.

Day 03

2011-01-11T08:08:00.001-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 03: Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Failing at my marriage. I know that it wasn't entirely my fault. I know we definitely weren't meant to be together. And I know that I was utterly and completely unhappy. But my dad has been married 5 times. (Well 6 if you count the 19 y/o girl he went and married in Puerto Rico and then left when she sprung 3 kids on him and said he had to support all of them. He may very well be married to her still.) When I got married I didn't invite my dad to my wedding, which made him extremely upset. He told me, "You'll definitely be divorced sooner or later." I guess those words have haunted me because I still feel like a failure for getting divorced, despite knowing it was the right thing to do.

I need to just forgive myself for making a horrible life choice by getting married to begin with.

Day 02

2011-01-10T08:12:00.001-05:00

Thirty Days of Truth
Day 02: Something you love about yourself.

I love my ability to listen to people. I can be very empathetic, which helps me a lot with my job. I also love my boobs. My ass ain't too shabby either. Just sayin'.

Thirty days of Truth

2011-01-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

I was over on HDW's blog and I saw this Thirty Days of Truth idea. Since I have nothing to blog about daily, I thought this would be great to keep me posting on the regular. The full list is below if you're interested.

Thirty Days of Truth:
Day 01: Something you hate about yourself.

I truly hate my lack of patience and how, sometimes, I can go from 0-60 almost instantly with anger. I don't get all crazy, throwing shit angry. I just get angry and sometimes I'll yell. I really want to work on these and improve them both this year.

I will start Day 02 on Monday. Nobody reads this thing on the weekends anyway.

Thirty Days of Truth list:

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Sometimes the apple falls far, far away from the tree

2011-01-06T08:04:00.000-05:00

When I was at my Pop-Pop's funeral, one of my second cousins kept introducing me to relatives I'd either never met or hadn't seen since I was young. She'd say, "This is April, Eddie's daughter." I cringed every time she said that, yet maintain a smile. While at the wake, I drank a margarita (we were at a restaurant) on an empty stomach so I had a slight buzz. She then introduced me as Eddie's daughter to someone and I said, "Though that's a fact I'm not proud of." She looked at me like I was a horrible person and said, "That's not a nice thing to say!" I just smiled and walked away.

I've been feeling somewhat embarrassed of that comment since then. I keep regretting that I said it. I mean, I was at my grandfather's wake! He's the father of my dad and I insulted his son at his funeral. Then I get a phone call from my sister today and I now I don't regret saying it at all.

It's a long story but to sum it up: My brother was briefly staying with my dad. They got into an argument and my dad told him to leave. My brother was gathering his things when my dad started hitting him, trying to get my brother to hit him back. He wouldn't do it. Then my dad called the police. Why? I don't know. The police sat outside watching my brother calmly walking in and out of my dad's house with his things to leave. Each time my brother walked into the house, my dad would yell profanities and hit him. The cops saw this. When they went to the door, they told my dad to step outside. My dad told them, "I'm not fucking going anywhere." He kept yelling at the police and being defiant, then he elbowed one of the cops. They slammed him down to the ground and cuffed him. My dad started screaming that he was having a heart attack so they took him to the hospital while under arrest. He is 65 years old.

My sister and brother waited at the hospital to find out if he was OK, which he was. After they took him to jail, they (sister & brother) frantically tried to gather bail money together. When she told me this on the phone I said, "Why? Why didn't you just leave him in jail?" She said, "He's my DAD!"

She thinks that he has something wrong with his brain. And maybe he does. He's definitely worse now than he was in the past. But none of that changes the fact that my dad is a lying, manipulative, drama-seeking man. I washed my hands of him a long time ago, which is honestly something I struggle with often. I have several unfinished blog posts about him, my feelings about him and the things he's done to me.

On the grand scale of things, what he has done to me isn't horrendous. I wasn't molested or physically abused. I was manipulated to hate my mom and stepdad for pretty much my entire childhood. He never once saw me march in the band or come to any of my band concerts. He never helped me with my homework or even asked if it was done. When I got a job at 15, I started buying all of my personal items (shampoo, tampons, deodorant, toothpaste, etc), school clothes, school lunches, senior pictures, prom dresses, etc.

The bigger things he's done to me? When I graduated from college, he called me the day of graduation and told me that he wasn't coming because my mom was going to be there. My mom, the woman he divorced over 14 years prior to my graduation. That one? That hurt me the most. I worked my ass off to graduate college. I worked full-time, went to school full-time and was a full-time single mom. I didn't talk to him for over a year after that. When I did finally talk to him it was after my car accident. I called to let him know that I was in a serious accident, because I would want to know if something like that happened to my kid. Right after I told him about the accident, he had the balls to ask me for money. I was incapacitated and out of work for 10 weeks and he wanted money from me. I hung up on him.

I didn't talk to him for a while and then on my birthday he sent me an email. In that email he went into detail about how he was raped by 4 guys in high school and that when he was 16, he used to suck dick for money because "a lot of guys were doing it and it didn't make us gay". Just the thing I wanted to hear. Happy Birthday to me!

Again I didn't talk to him for a while. Then one day I got a call from my aunt, his sister. She told me that my dad was dying of stage 4 cancer and that all he wants is to talk to me before he died. She said he only had 2 months to live at most. I called him up and we talked for about 20 minutes before I brought up the cancer. When I did, he started crying, "I knew you'd call!" I said, "What?" He said, "I don't have cancer, I just wanted to talk to you. I knew you'd call!" I told him he's sick and I hung up on him. HE LIED TO HIS SISTER ABOUT DYING SO I WOULD TALK TO HIM.

I could go on with stories but I'm sure you get the picture.

The bottom line is that I just don't care anymore. Yes, he is my dad. Yes, I love him. But I do not want him in my life. I do not want him in my son's life. I do not want to deal with his constant problems, lying and manipulation. I guess the issue is that I feel bad for not caring. I have spent many years distancing myself from him, so I'm to the point where these stories just don't effect me.

So many people at the funeral asked me how my dad was doing. I got some looks when I said, "I don't really talk to him much." So I finally just started saying, "Great!" Believe me, I would LOVE to have a positive, healthy relationship with my dad. But it's just not possible on his end. Every time I let him back in, he does something to fuck it up. So I've stopped letting him in. I just can't.

I don't know why I put all of this out there. I guess I just needed to get it out. Thanks for being therapeutic, internet!

Deep Throat of the Day: I'm thankful that I'm nothing like him.

In with the new

2011-01-03T10:43:00.002-05:00

First, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope each of you had a fun and safe NYE weekend.

I was trying to think of what 2010 was like for me. Really, it was pretty tame. The highlight was getting engaged on May 1st. I did quit smoking by using electronic cigarettes (ecigs). The ecigs have also allowed me to meet some awesome new people. I went to St. Louis in August and met up with a bunch of ecig users. Other than that, it was a normal year. But this year, 2011, this is going to be a busy year for me.

In a few weeks we're going to Cancun for a destination wedding. I probably should be more excited about this trip than I am, but I'm sure that excitement will come as we get closer to leaving.

In February I'm taking Ethan to NYC for an "Ethan and Mommy" trip. I got this idea from Another Suburban Mom. She has taken her son to NYC for a "quality time" trip with just to two of them. I figured I should probably get on this while he's young enough to enjoy spending time with me. He had mentioned wanting to go to NYC in the past so I thought it would be the perfect place. I got tickets to STOMP, which I know he'll love, and booked a hotel room. We'll get up early that Saturday, drive up to NJ, check into our hotel then hop on the bus to the city which is only a 10 minute drive. I figure we'll spend the day sight-seeing, eat at some fun restaurants and definitely experience the subway! It will no doubt be a fun trip.

In March I'll be meeting up with a bunch of my ecig friends in Philly. That's sure to be a blast.

Then in June we'll be getting married! Sometime after then we'll go on our honeymoon. We don't have any definite plans, but we're leaning towards Europe. Neither of us have been to Europe before and have it on our bucket lists. A honeymoon is a perfect reason to go, don't ya think?

What's in store for you in 2011?

Deep Throat of the Day: "Every woman needs a first husband under her belt." Quote by me while having a conversation about a coworkers daughter marrying some guy she hadn't met in person until a week before their wedding.

Have you seen Baby Jesus?

2010-12-15T09:47:00.003-05:00

We're having an Ugly Sweater Party this weekend so we wanted to make sure we had all of our Christmas decorations out. Joe has a bunch of decorations that he got from his aunt who passed away, including a nativity scene complete with camels. I unwrapped each of the figures only to find that Baby Jesus was missing! I searched through each box several times and he's nowhere to be found. I think someone told him what he had in store for his future and he made a run for it. He probably joined the Taliban and is hiding in some dirt tunnel with Bin Laden in Afghanistan. That or he's in the Witness Protection Program. Who knows. Either way, if you see Baby Jesus, please tell him that his virgin mother misses him and it's time to come home.

Joe and I are getting married in June. One of his best friends goes to vet school in Australia and only comes home a few times a year, June being one of those times. Everyone knows that June is a huge month for weddings which means dates fill up quickly and a LOT more money. But let me tell you we found the most perfect places to get married and have a reception. And they have an available Saturday in June!

A beautiful restaurant on the water with an upstairs that was specifically designed for ~~our wedding~~ receptions. Right next door is the most adorable little park with the most beautiful gazebo right in the center. We will get married in the gazebo, take a few pictures, then walk over to the restaurant for the reception. PERFECT! We're so stoked.

But, we have a dilemma. We do not want children at our wedding or reception, except of course my son and the 11 y/o flower girl. This means that Joe's nephews and our friends children are not invited. I do not have any small nieces or nephews, so that's not an issue for my side of the family. I've been reading a lot about this and apparently some people get majorly offended. But here's the deal....we want this to be an ADULT event with drinking, dancing and having a good time. Good adult fun. Period. People, even if they don't drink, tend to not have as much fun at events when they bring their children because they're constantly watching them. There's not a room at the restaurant to have a sitter area to watch the kids. And even if there was, we'd still want it to just be adults. I'd love to know your thoughts on this.

Deep Throat of the Day: I hope you're keeping warm, Baby Jesus...

Jabber

2010-12-13T09:55:00.004-05:00

I've come to the conclusion that I cannot regularly post on this blog. So, I'll just post when I think of something to write. I apologize for the inconsistency. Today I'm going to give you a bunch of jibber-jabber.

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My grandfather, Coo-Coo Pop-Pop, passed away on November 30th. He was 88 years old and fought a hard fight for a long time. The pain and suffering became unbearable and he determined it was time for him to go. After his last stint in the hospital, he told my grandmother that it was time to call Hospice. He signed the papers later that day and it was set in motion. He went to the Hospice center on the afternoon of Saturday, the 27th. He was surrounded by his family and friends, many of whom stayed there the entire 3 days. Hospice made him comfortable and pain-free. I wasn't able to see him, but I spoke to him on the phone before he passed. He told me that it was time for him to go. He was ready. No fear. He died happy and on his terms.

I admire him so much for so many reasons and even on his death bed, he was the same happy, loving Coo-Coo Pop-Pop I've known my whole life.

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Ethan started wrestling the beginning of October. This is the first time he's ever done the sport but he seems to be doing very well. His dad was a 3 time state wrestling champion which Ethan wants to emulate. Yesterday he had his first tournament. I was a little nervous for him because I know how much he wants to be really good. I wanted him to be confident, not arrogant, and prepared for the possibility of losing. His dad told him, "It's ok to lose. Your only goals today are to not get pinned and don't give up." And he did just that.

He had 3 matches. The first match ended in the first round with Ethan pinning the boy. He was SO HAPPY. It was like the pin validated his confidence. The second match was against a boy with 2 years experience and 10 inches taller. We could tell this one would be more of a challenge than the first. Ethan hung in there all three rounds and lost by 5 points. The third match ended like the first; Ethan pinned the boy in the first round.

I'm so proud of him. Not because he won 2 of the 3 matches but because he handled himself appropriately. He never gave up and he showed great sportsmanship.

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I didn't get much sleep last night. Around 9:00pm last evening, there was a knock at the door. It was a police officer. Apparently, my neighbor who lives 2 houses down came home to find 2 guys had broken into her house. When she pulled into her driveway, they jumped out of her window, ran to their car and drove off. She lives alone with her dog and we're just thankful that no physical harm was done to her or her dog.

We live in a nice neighborhood and this kind of stuff just doesn't happen. Well, except for last night. Either way, it was a very unsettling feeling. Here we are in our warm, cozy house, with 2 children (Ethan had a friend over) all doing our thing while 2 houses down someone is getting their possessions stolen.

We promptly checked every single window in our house, making sure they were locked. There were 4 of them unlocked. Anyway, all night I tossed and turned, thinking I was hearing noises. When I did fall asleep, I would have nightmares of people breaking into our house. In one nightmare they stole Ethan. I was so shaken by that one that I had to go upstairs and make sure he was still there. Scary stuff, I say!

Deep Throat of the Day: Mondays suck ass!

Get'r done!

2010-11-02T09:39:00.004-04:00

Today is a HUGE day....it's VOTING DAY! In my opinion today is more important than the presidential election so get your asses out there and vote!! (I'm also of the opinion that this is the most important election of my adult life, but I digress.) Your vote DOES count so let your voice be heard.

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What do you do when there are 2 kids in your neighborhood who you don't particularly care for and don't really want your child hanging around? Both of these kids have parents who NEVER discipline them. One kid, J, lives with his dad, which is fine, but his dad allows the kids to do whatever they want, whenever they want, when they're at his house. J yells at his dad like I've never heard a child yell at a parent before. He is always yelling at Ethan and demanding that he do what J wants to do when J wants to do it.

I have talked to Ethan about how J treats him and told him that's not how a friend is supposed to act. Several times I have reluctantly let Ethan spend the night at J's house and when I did, his dad made Ethan bring his own food and drinks. (who does that?) But when I found out that one night during a sleep over, J's dad allowed the boys to play outside well after midnight, I stopped letting Ethan stay at his house. I recently stopped letting Ethan play at J's house all together because his dad is hardly ever home and when he is, he allows the kids to do whatever they want. He can still play with J, just not at his house. I do not trust his dad one bit.

The other boy, N, has a mother who has told me, "N has been through so much in his life that it's to the point where I feel bad if I ground him or discipline him. I feel that talking to him when he does something wrong really works." Yeah, well, it's not working. She even had the nerve to tell me that she thinks I ground Ethan too much. This kid initiates violence all the time. Ethan is taught not to hit and he'll take several hits from this kid before he snaps and hits him back. As soon as he does, the kid goes crying him to his mom and then I get a phone call. And of course he doesn't tell his mom that he had hit Ethan 10-11 times before Ethan hit him once. I've told Ethan that the first time N hits him, walk away, leave or come home. Ethan complains that if he did that every time N hit him, he'd never get to play with his other friends.

Therein lies the other problem. There's only a handful of kids who are Ethan's age in our neighborhood. They're all friends and they're always playing together. Literally, there are 4 boys, J and N being 2 of them. So when an incident happens, it's not like there's another friend Ethan can hang out with because they're all usually at one of the kids houses. It's funny, though, when they're all at my house there's never an incident. NEVER. I've tried getting them to all hang out at my house more often but they like playing at different houses for various reasons.

I'm certainly not saying Ethan is a saint. I know he does his fair share, however, he gets in trouble for the things he does. He knows there are consequences for his actions, while N and J have none. Ethan also sees that he gets in trouble while N and J do not, which makes it harder for me. I have to explain to him that just because J and N do not get in trouble doesn't mean he shouldn't. I told him that I am not their parents therefore I'm not responsible for what they do.

So I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell Ethan that he can't play with N and J although that's how I really feel. I believe that these kids are the way they are because their parents allow them to be that way; and it's not fair to punish the kids because their parents are shitty, is it? It's not like I can talk to their parents about what's going on because they don't give a shit and it wouldn't help. What would you do if you were in my shoes? Am I overreacting?

Deep Throat of the Day: Get your vote on!

Kissing your kids

2010-11-01T11:43:00.000-04:00

I was reading this article the other day. A woman wrote to Margot Howard saying that her husband kisses (pecks, not full on tongues) his 5y/o daughter (her stepdaughter) on the lips and it freaks her out. She went on to write that kissing on the lips is a sexual gesture that should only be done when you're married. This just blew my mind but it's not the first time I've heard it.

When I was about 10 or 11, I had gone with my friend to her catholic church. It was my first time ever attending this church and after what the priest said, it was my last. During his sermon, he said, "Parents, you should not kiss or hug your children because they're sexual acts that will promote promiscuity." I went home and asked my dad what "promiscuity" meant. He asked me why and I told him what the priest said. He told me that I wasn't allowed to go back there.

I do not understand how or why people feel this way. Really, I can't wrap my brain around that whole concept at all. I understand that the people who feel this way were probably raised to believe that, just as I was raised to believe the opposite, but I still don't get it. Kissing is only a sexual act if you make it a sexual act, otherwise it's simply a sign of affection.

I grew up in a family that gives hugs and kisses in abundance. To this day, I still greet my mom with a hug and a kiss on the lips. I kiss my stepdad, my sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. And yes, I kiss my 12y/o son on the lips as well. None of those kisses are sexual nor are they interpreted as being sexual by the people receiving them. There are many times when I kiss Joe on the lips and it's not deemed sexual. When he comes home from work or when I leave for work, we give each other a kiss. Then it's not sexual either.

But of course this is me speaking from my own experiences and beliefs. So, I'm wondering what do you guys think? Is kissing your kids on the lips a sexual act?

Deep Throat of the Day: Brett Favre better keep denying those penis pictures are his. I know I would after seeing the penis in those pictures.

Needy

2010-10-14T07:05:00.003-04:00

I am a wine drinker. Because of this, I go to Total Wine at least once a week. During my visits there I befriended an older (70's) gentleman named Hal. For a year every time I'd go to Total Wine I'd talk to Hal. One day he told me that he was quitting Total Wine to get back into aviation. He asked if we could remain friends, to which I said yes, and gave him my email. I had gotten the impression from him that he's a lonely, old man. His 2 grown children live in California and his wife passed away. I felt that being his friend and giving him someone to talk to might make him a little happier.

We've emailed each other several times and have met for lunch 3 or 4 times. He's a very nice and interesting man and offers many exciting stories about his time in the military. But after receiving an email from him this morning, I'm beginning to feel that he's not only a needy friend but has feelings for me that run deeper than those of a friendship.

I received my first suspicious email on September 8th. He had emailed me in the afternoon on September 7th. Because I hadn't responded to him by the next morning, I received the following email:

Dear April,

I think that I may have pissed you off with my political views. It is not that simple. I am eclectic and pretty independent. I guess, and I am just guessing that maybe I should not have told you about my trips to Thailand. The last part of my last E-mail is absolute. I do not have an easy time making friends. Thanks for being around awhile at least.

Hal

I replied back to that email saying that he didn't say anything to piss me off and I found his Thailand stories fascinating. I told him that I just got a little busy and wasn't able to reply back to him right away.

Our most recent lunch was two weeks ago on September 30th. I emailed him after our lunch saying it's always a pleasure having lunch with him and thanking him. I haven't emailed him since the 30th of September and I haven't heard from him since then either, until this morning. This is the email I got:

Dear April,

Best of luck to you. Sounds like you don't need me any more. Looks as though you have finally found your rabbits foot. That's great! I cannot think of a more deserving person. I wish you long life and most of all happiness in your upcoming marriage. Again I cannot think of a more deserving person.
Thanks for the kind words. Also never worry about your prosthetic ankle. Truth is you have to be one of the most physically beautiful women I have have known. Missed the boat again. Story of my life.

Take Care,
Hal

The story behind the rabbits foot is that after telling him a few bad stories (mixed with a bunch of good stories) he determined that I have bad luck and need a rabbits foot. It was a joke. But his comments about me being physically beautiful and that he "missed the boat" make me feel that he thought there would be more to our relationship than friendship. I have never made any comments toward him which would make him feel like I was interested him in anything more than friendship. My reply to his last email:

Dear Hal,

Listen, I consider you my friend. I do not understand the purpose or reasoning behind this email. Is it because you've not heard from me for a few weeks? If so, that means you automatically feel that I don't want to speak to you ever again? I'm not sure I understand that line of thinking. I have several friends that I don't talk to every day, every week or even every month. That doesn't mean I don't need their friendship anymore. I don't understand why you wouldn't have just sent an email saying hi, asking how I was doing or telling me about what's been going on with you. Instead I get this, and this is the second time I've received an email like this from you. I don't want you feeling this way. Please tell me what I need to do so you won't feel this way again? Because to be honest, Hal, I'm trying to think of why you would feel this way. I didn't say anything mean to you during our last lunch. I didn't act distant or strange toward you. The only thing I can think of is that I've not contacted you in 2 weeks.

I could give you a list of reasons as to why I haven't emailed you since met for lunch a few weeks ago, but I don't feel that I need to justify myself. You should know that I have said to myself, "I wonder how Hal's doing? Gotta send him an email to say hi." I know you can't read my thoughts so I do apologize for not contacting you since the last time we met for lunch.

I truly hope all is well with you and that your studies have come easy.

Take Care,
April

I just sent that reply so I've not heard back from him yet. What do you guys think?

Deep Throat of the Day: This is very exhausting.

Softies

2010-10-13T10:29:00.001-04:00

After hearing about this Rhode Island high school football team forfeiting their game because the headmaster says the other team has much bigger players, I'm really starting to believe that we're raising a bunch of softies.

To be honest, I've been thinking this for quite a while now. More and more things are being changed as to not make kids feel badly. Not only do these things not make them feel badly, but a lot of these things do not hold them accountable for their actions. Some counties won't let teachers use red pens to grade homework. Some won't allow teachers to write the names of the children misbehaving on the board. Others won't allow honor roll lists and other lists which may exclude children (e.g. those who did/didn't make the school play) to be posted in a visible spot. There are many counties who have completely done away with the A+ (but left the B+, C+, D+) in addition to lowering the standards of the grading scale. There's even some school districts doing away with having a valedictorian, class rankings and weighted credits. I could go on, but I'm sure you get the picture.

The problem I have with all of this is the fact that the schools are coddling children. They're not allowing them to experience real life. You don't always win. Sometimes you just don't make the cut. When you work hard, you get rewarded for that hard work. When you don't work hard, you don't get the same outcome as others who do work hard. That's just the way it is...or should be.

In my opinion, there needs to be a higher standard. There needs to be consequences for their actions. Children need to have levels of achievement. They need to fail sometimes. A valuable lesson is taught to children when they don't get their desired outcome. Not allowing children to even experience those lessons teaches them that they don't have to try and is a huge disservice.

Imagine if it's always been that way....would there be a Bill Gates? Oprah Winfrey? Albert Einstein? Jerry Rice? Blaise Pascal? P-Diddy? Or any achievers for that matter?

Deep Throat of the Day: Let the team play!

NOT how that was supposed to go

2010-10-07T08:01:00.004-04:00

Last night Ethan and I were riding in the car together. He started asking me about getting his ears tapered.

Ethan: "Mom, when can I get my ears tapered?"

Me: "Tapered? Is that the big earrings that stretch your ear lobes?

Ethan: "Yes."

Me: "Why do you want to do that?"

Ethan: "Because it looks cool."

Me: "It does look kinda cool, but it's really just not a good idea."

Ethan: "Ok. But when can I get it done?"

Me: "Well, by the time you're allowed to get that done, hopefully you'll have changed your mind."

Ethan: "But when will that time be?"

Me: "When you're 18."

Ethan: "Why? You let me get my ear pierced!"

Me: "Ethan, do you understand that will cause you to have big, gaping holes in your ears which will never close up on their own like a regular ear piercing hole does?"

Ethan: "So?"

Me: "Say you get that done. Then you grow up, become a mature adult, and realize that you don't really care for them anymore and you take them out. Do you know how silly you'll look when you're 50 and you have big, gaping holes on the sides of your head?" (I stand corrected. According to a few commenters, if done right, the big, gaping holes close up. I thought it was like this because a friend of mine now has a big, gaping hole. He never mentioned that it was done incorrectly. That's what I get for assuming, right?)

Ethan: "But YOU have big, gaping holes!"

The conversation stopped abruptly because I wanted to burst out laughing but had to keep it to myself. I didn't want my son questioning me about why I was laughing. How do you explain to your son that your mind was in the gutter when made that statement? Even better, how do you not gross him out when trying to explain why you were laughing? I could only imagine how that would go..."Well, ummm, you see, even though it's not nice, sometimes people jokingly refer vaginas as..." He'll interrupt, "VAGINAS? WHAT?" "Ummmm, well.." Then his preteen mind will start putting it all together, "OH MOM! THAT'S SICK!!!!" Yeah, that wouldn't go over so well.

For the record, I do NOT have ANY holes on my body that could be considered big or gaping thankyouveryfuckingmuch!

I have had my ears pierced for quite some time. Having worn my fair share of heavy earrings has caused my earring holes to be *slightly* stretched. But they're absolutely NOTHING compared to this:

Deep Throat of the Day: I walked right into that one, didn't I?

Estimate?

2010-10-06T07:56:00.001-04:00

Reason #2578 why it's a good idea to learn the English language when moving to the United States of America:

A Spanish speaking gentleman called here yesterday morning and immediately asked the receptionist for someone who speaks Spanish. We do have 2 people here who speak Spanish fluently, however, neither of them were here at the time. The receptionist tries to speak to him and the conversation eventually leads to him setting up an appointment with the Chiropractor. During this conversation it's determined that the man has been in a car accident and is seeking treatment for his injuries.

He arrives today for his appointment. He is handed the necessary paperwork we require from all new patients. He looks at said paperwork and declares that he cannot read it because it's not written in Spanish. One of our employees fluent in Spanish is here so she sits down with him to help him fill out his paperwork.

She spends almost an hour with him, asking him the questions, then writing in his answers. All of these questions have to do with his current medical status and his medical history.

When she's all done with his paperwork, he asks her in Spanish, "When will the estimate be done?" Confused by this, she asks him to elaborate. He replies, "The estimate on my car. How long before you know how much it's going to cost to fix my car?"

Deep Throat of the Day: When I go to Mexico in January, I hope I don't mistakenly go to an auto body shop for a toothache.

The long but interesting story

2010-10-01T10:57:00.003-04:00

In my last post I wrote that there's a long story pertaining to work which deserved it's own post. Well here's the story....

I was being driven crazy by this woman who had worked here for 18 years. She wasn't driving me crazy from the start, more so over the past 5 or 6 months. She was very nice and I thought she was my friend, which was a big part of the problem, really. Because of those things, her incompetency with work was something I struggled with daily. There were several things that I showed her how to do many, many times which she continually "forgot". There were days when I felt like I was dealing with a fucking trainee when it came to her. She was constantly not doing the things she was supposed to be doing. When she did do them, she'd either do them wrong or take her sweet time doing them. I hated having to ask her every day if she did something I needed from her. Every day she'd say, "Oh I got too busy yesterday. I'll do it today." Well, it still didn't get done and the next day would come, only for me to get the same response as the day before. She was completely unorganized and scatter-brained, which drove us all nuts.

Then there was the drama. OH the drama. This woman had more drama in her life than all the shows on TBS combined. Every day it was something. And the lies! She lied so much to everyone, I don't know how she kept her stories straight. I wasn't the only one irritated with her either. The 2 other women in the office who depended on her for some things also were complaining about her. None of us ever said anything to the doctor but thankfully, he noticed it on his own. He confronted her on 2 different occasions about her lack of performance and neither of those conversations went well. Because of these confrontations with her, she felt that she was under appreciated here and she quit! This was really a blessing for the office because now things around here are so much better and everyone agrees.

Apparently she didn't used to be that way. See, she wasn't getting the attention she needed at home from her husband of 25 years. There was a doctor working here (also in a committed relationship) who started showing her attention and flirting with her. This was a recipe for disaster. They started having an affair. It was supposed to only be sex, but she fell in love and started to get crazy. (Let me make it clear for anyone who misconstrued what I just wrote. Not all women who fall in love get crazy.) Anytime he was having a bad day, she took it personal. If he didn't dote on her one day, her day would be ruined. If he had to cancel one of their nights to be together because his partner made plans, she would get extremely pissed. The minute he'd walk in the door, she'd follow him to his office. They tried to keep it a secret, but it was obvious to anyone with a brain. Shit, even Ethan asked me, "Does she like him?"

This attention and affair changed her. She started dressing much, much more differently than she had been. Short, tight skirts, low-cut shirts, high heels, etc. She started excessively shopping for clothes. In fact, her shopping habit got so bad that she ended up charging close to $10,000* on the company credit card without permission. She did her hair differently, started working out, and started "going out" until midnight or later quite often. I think it's great that she started to feel better about herself and gained some confidence. What's not great is that everything she did, she did to impress the doctor. All she could focus on was him. Her husband and grown daughters started to question her fidelity.

She started to get extremely possessive and jealous. This pushed the doctor away and he started to cancel their "meetings" for one reason or another. Eventually they all together stopped. He also stopped flirting with her and doting over her. This made her completely unstable. Every day at work, all she could think and talk about was him. She was obsessed. When he would leave for lunch, she'd follow him because she insisted he was fucking someone else. She was really convinced of that when she went through his briefcase and found condoms. After her shift was over, she'd call the office a couple times to see what he was up to and how his mood was. Every day she'd cry and complain to us about what an asshole he was. We all tried to talk to her and offer advice, but she didn't want to listen.

Then one day she went to him and said, "Listen, I don't want anything more than sex. Can you just fuck me?" He gave in and the whole thing started over again.

Then the doctor got fired. OH BOY was that a fucking mess. She left work early, went home and got completely shit-faced, then had her daughter bring her to our office and take pictures of the doctors name plate outside the door. Absolutely ridiculous. Now, the doctor didn't get fired because of the obvious affair. He was let go because he didn't want to work the hours he was supposed to work. He was supposed to see patients during certain hours. He, with the help of her, would consistently shorten those hours and see less and less patients. He was not only losing money for the practice but making the receptionists turn away patients who desperately needed to be seen.

After he got fired a new doctor was hired and there was so much tension in the office. She was so fucked up in the head over him not being here anymore and she treated the new doc with a slightly less than warm welcome. Things went from bad to worse when it came to her. Then her daughter announced that she was getting married to some guy she had been talking to online for a couple of months and still hadn't met in person. THEN her mom fell ill and they discovered she had stage 4 cancer.

So when she quit, most of us were relieved. The doctor (and owner) said, "GOOD!" with a big smile on his face. She tried to go out with a big ol' FUCK YOU to the doctor, but that didn't happen at all. Now she's working for the guy she's fucking.

Go figure.

Deep Throat of the Day: Oh to be the fly on the wall when the lies come crashing down.

*The $10,000 she spent on the company credit card was not all for clothes. Only some of it was. She charged her daughter's college tuition to the card and funded a beach vacation for her and her daughter. Because she was spending so much money on clothes and shoes, she didn't have the money to pay for the things she was supposed to pay. She also never told her husband that she didn't have that money and had to charge it to the company card.

M.I.A.

2010-09-29T15:32:00.004-04:00

I so suck. Sorry. I just haven't really thought of anything worthy to write about. People don't want to hear about my happy relationship, right? It was much more entertaining to read about the drama going on in my life when my ex and I were together or when I was dating. While those are certainly times in my life that I do not miss, they provided much better reading material for you.

But, I started thinking that maybe I shouldn't be writing for your entertainment. Maybe I should write just to write because I really enjoyed keeping this blog, writing my thoughts, opinions and experiences. So, I'm going to try to start writing again. Because even though I've not written anything in a while, there hasn't been a day that's gone by that I haven't thought, "Maybe I should put this on my blog?"

So, today I'm going to start by filling you in on what's been going on with me these past few months.

First, Joe got a job a few weeks ago! YAY!! I'm too lazy to go back and see if I even told you guys he lost his job, but just in case I hadn't told you...Joe lost his job during the end of April. Finding a new job turned out to be a longer process than we had anticipated, but it seems to have been worth the wait. He's very happy with his new job, a contract with a branch of the government, and he's even in the process of getting a higher clearance.

Ethan turned 12 and started middle school this year. MIDDLEFUCKINGSCHOOL! And just as expected, things practically changed over night. He has that "I know everything" teenager mentality which absolutely drives me crazy. The mouth on him started to get a little out of control but I'm nipping that in the bud REAL fast. He isn't cursing at me or anything like that, more so talking back and saying things like, "JEEZ" and "SO WHAT!" He even had the balls to ask me, "What were you doing in my room?" after I told him he needed to clean it. What? I'm sorry, are you talking to me? Nope. That shit ain't flying with me.

Things at work are getting better. It's a very long story that really deserves it's own post, so you will read about that another day.

And some of the most exciting news I have is that on 10/10/10, I will be excitedly sitting in the stands of FedEx field watching my Packers beat the shit out of the Redskins! I GET TO SEE MY PACKERS PLAY LIVE!!! Joe came home late from work the other night and surprised me with a pair of tickets! Isn't he the most wonderful man ever?!?! I'm so stoked!

I hope all is well with each of you.

Deep Throat of the Day: I yearn to be Lambeau Leaped by Donald Driver.

Product Review: My Miracle Massager

2010-07-25T08:37:00.004-04:00

When I was asked which type of toy I wanted to review next, I asked if I could try a wand/massager type toy. Since I had heard so many women rave about the Hitachi Magic Wand, I figured trying something along the same lines would be exciting. Soon after, My Miracle Massager showed up on my doorstep.

My initial reaction when taking her out of the box was, "WOW! This thing is HUGE like an industrial, but pretty pink and white, power tool." She's definitely not as heavy as a power tool but certainly is powerful.

To use My Miracle Massager, you plug her into an electrical socket. The cord is very long at just over 6 feet, which gives you quite a bit of room to move around. She operates on 2 speeds, low and high, which at first I thought was a little disappointing. But then I actually turned her on and realized that at even the low speed, she was pretty powerful. The high speed was extremely powerful with intense vibrations. So intense that my right hand, which was holding her, became numb. The speed settings are controlled by a switch that is inset into the handle. The switch doesn't get in the way when you're holding it, which is a nice feature.

The body of My Miracle Massager has a slight curve to it, making her ergonomically designed to be held comfortably. Her head is a large, ribbed, pink bulbous design made of a non-porous, phthalate-free plastic which can easily be cleaned with warm water and soap or some isopropyl alcohol. This head is also unique in that it's set on a spring so it's able to slightly rotate and move.

What I didn't like about the head of My Miracle Massager is that it's really, really big. The big head was great for massaging sore body parts, but for clitoral stimulation? Not so much. Don't get me wrong, it did the trick, but it left my entire vagina and inner thighs feeling uncomfortable numbness. Her vibrations were deep and intense and offered a low hum which wasn't loud enough to be heard through a closed door.

All in all, the My Miracle Massager is a versatile, inexpensive toy that I will use often. Want one of your own? Head on over to Eden Fantasys to get your own.

My miracle massager Massager by California Exotic Material: Plastic / PVC Safety: $41.99 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

Grieving

2010-05-20T07:51:00.003-04:00

When I was maybe 8 or 9 my dad worked with this older man, Fred. Fred was that old man who always had funny stories to tell and magic tricks to show every time I saw him. He and his wife would have my dad and I over for dinner and they would come over to our house. They were good people.

One day my dad came home from work and told me that Fred's wife died. Naturally, I was upset and started to cry. I remember thinking about how sad Fred must be losing his wife. He asked me if I wanted to go to her funeral. I had never been to a funeral before but I said yes. Shortly after we got to the funeral, we ran into Fred. He was smiling and laughing and telling jokes, being the same old Fred that I had seen many times before.

I didn't understand why he wasn't sad. I was actually mad that he wasn't sad. I asked my dad why Fred wasn't crying and he explained to me that people grieve differently. He said that even though Fred wasn't showing it on the outside, inside he was truly hurting.

Being so young it was a hard concept for me to grasp. And to be honest, even as an adult, sometimes it's hard for me to understand. Last night was a perfect example. Joe and I went to the viewing of his cousin's husband. I had never met his cousin, her husband or their 2 adult daughters.

We had just arrived to the funeral home and were signing the guest book when Joe said, "April, this is MaryAnn." I shook her hand and she congratulated us on our engagement and then made some jokes. She was smiling and laughing and was quite composed. When we walked away I asked, "Who was she?" He said, "That's my cousin whose husband died." I was blown away. If I had just lost my high school sweetheart and husband of 35 years, I don't know if I'd be so composed. Shit, I wouldn't be that composed if my dog had just died.

Then I met their 2 daughters. Both of them were smiling and nonchalantly talking as if they were at a get together, not their dad's funeral. If Joe hadn't told me that it was their dad who just died, I never would've guessed. Then we walked through the rest of the funeral home and I didn't see one tear. Not one person was crying or even had a look of being upset. I turned to Joe and said, "This is really weird. Everyone's happy and smiling. There's not one person who is crying." He said, "This is how our family is at funerals." I've been to several viewings and maybe not everyone was crying, but there were definitely several.

We made our way to the casket. I saw him laying there and I could feel tears welling up. I had to turn away because I didn't want to be the only asshole in the room crying. Especially since I'd never even met the guy before.

The whole experience was somewhat surreal to me. At the same time, that's how I'd like for people to be at my funeral. I don't want everyone to be sad and crying. I'd rather them get together, remember the good times and be happy.

Deep Throat of the Day: Yellow ribbons will be handed out at my funeral, 'cause you know, ribbons are the shit.

Product Review: Bnaughty Deluxe

2010-05-07T07:12:00.011-04:00

If you have yet to fall in love with a bullet or egg sex toy, then get ready. The Bnaughty Deluxe is here and you WILL fall in love with her. I know I did.

At first sight I wasn't too excited about her because the controller looked a little big and bulky.

However, after I removed her from the packaging and held her in my hand, I changed my mind. She's shaped ergonomically correct to fit nicely in your hand. She's similar to, but much smaller than, a mouse used for a computer.

This bad girl runs on 2 AAA battery and has 7 (SEVEN!!) different vibration settings that range in strengths and patterns. This makes it really, really fun if you let your partner run the controls. Right before you're going to explode, BAM! The settings get changed...
Oh, back to the review. She is powerful! I was very taken back by how much punch was packed inside the little bullet. She's definitely one of the strongest vibrating toys I own, if not having the strongest vibrations. The sounds on the lower settings are pretty quiet and get louder as the settings are turned higher. But not too loud that it's obvious to the unknowing people in your house.

There are 2 flush buttons (see first image) on the control portion which allow you to turn it on and change the settings. I thought with the buttons being so flush, I was going to have a hard time finding them when in the moment, but that was not an issue at all. When turned on, the buttons light up, which I thought was a really cool feature.

The Bnaughty is made of hard plastic, is waterproof and allows for vaginal (not anal) insertion, which was surprisingly enjoyable. Since Bnaughty is waterproof, you can clean her with some soap and warm water or a toy cleaner. She can be used with water or silicone based lubes as well.

When you're all done playing with her, she comes with a nice, discreet black pouch to store her away until next time.

I absolutely LOVE this toy for clitoral and vaginal stimulation. She is very enjoyable for solo and couples play. I've also used her to work out some knots I had in my shoulders. See how versatile she is? I must say, she's also very affordable. If you want one of your own, head on over to Eden Fantasys and get one!

Bnaughty deluxe Bullet by BSwish Material: Plastic Safety: $39.97 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

My face hurts

2010-05-03T07:58:00.003-04:00

Why does my face hurt? Well, maybe it's because I haven't stopped smiling since Saturday night. Why, you ask? I'd say it's because Joe proposed to me on Saturday night and of course I said, "YES!!"

DETAILS! I'm sure you want details, right? You're gonna get 'em anyway....

We went out to dinner to celebrate his birthday which was last Thursday. We were at a nice waterfront restaurant that we'd never been to. Several times he mentioned that he thought the restaurant was going to be more romantic and private.

After dinner I went to the restroom. When I came back to the table, the server brought out a big bouquet of flowers. I was surprised because we were there for HIS birthday. I was happy and hugged him and all that mushy stuff. Then we left and went for a walk on the pier.

At the end of the pier there was a gazebo. We were standing there under the gazebo just looking at the pretty scenery, him smoking a cigarette, me using my electronic cigarette. I hugged him and told him, "Your heart is beating so fast!" He said, "Must be because of the cigarette." I said, "That's why you need to start vaping!" (the term for "smoking" an electronic cigarette)

He put out his cig and pulled out a card that was tucked in the back of his pants, "I got a card for you, too!" I opened the card and read the most beautiful words written by him. He wrote something along the lines of saying that for the past 30 years, May 1st has always been a sad day (his mom died on May 1st right after his 4th birthday) and he's always wanted to change the meaning of that day.....now he can change it. Those were the last words of the card. So I looked up and gave him a hug and a kiss. Then he said, "And now I have to ask you a question." He got down on one knee, pulled out a ring and said, "Will you marry me?"

I wanted to scream, "YES!" But I wasn't crying and I thought for sure I'd be crying. So in my mind I was confused because I felt overwhelmed with happiness but no tears. Then I got out of my mind and back into him on his knee and said, "YES!" But I was holding out the wrong hand. He grabbed my left hand and put the ring on my finger. Perfect fit.

We stood in the gazebo, hugged and kissed for maybe 15-20 minutes. Telling each other, "I love you so much."

We started to walk some more on the boardwalk and that's when it hit me. Happy tears started flowing down my face. Delayed reaction I guess. We hugged and kissed some more before finding a bench to sit on. We then called our family members and told them the news.

There's no date set yet but we did decide we want something small. Maybe Vegas? We don't quite know yet. I do know that I'm happy. Happier than I've ever been. Not because I'm engaged, but because I've found someone who truly makes me happy, as I do him.

Product Review: Kissa

2010-04-20T15:53:00.005-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Kissa.

The Kissa arrived in a cute, black velvet pouch.

When I took her out of the pouch, I was impressed with her girth for being such a small toy.

I love the color. Upon inspection I was impressed with her different textures, and the overall quality considering her fairly inexpensive cost. Kissa is made with a glass overlay and is waterproof. This makes for all different types of fun. I also like how she's hypoallergenic, non-porous, latex and phthalates free. Kissa takes one AA battery and has a bottom button for 3 speeds.

With how cute and durable this baby is, I really wish I would've enjoyed her more. I found even the highest/strongest speed to be weak. The bumps on the head were very uncomfortable for me from start to finish even lathered up with lube. Because she's so small, she doesn't offer g-spot stimulation, which it clearly states on the website, so clitoral stimulation was needed. However, I wasn't able to even reach an orgasm that way because of the discomfort Kissa caused. So, I had to stop early.

She was very easy to clean, just some soap and warm water.

Overall, I unfortunately wasn't too pleased with my Kissa. However, that doesn't mean you or your significant other won't enjoy her. Head on over to EdenFantasys to check it out.

Fuckity Fucker Fuck

2010-03-25T11:06:00.002-04:00

Do you work with idiots? Or do you at least feel, once a week, that you work with idiots? Because today? Today I feel like I work with fucking idiots! Idiots who make us look incompetent to our patients. INFUCKINGCOMPETENT!

Tuesday was also a not so good day at work. Tuesday I told my boss, "You do not pay me enough or tell me I do a good job enough for me to be sitting here listening to you without wanting to say FUCK YOU!" Then I walked out of his office. Twenty minutes later I was standing at the copy machine and he gave me a hug. Ugh.

And the bosses wife? OOOOHHH let me just tell you. She is one of these people who can't turn on a light because flicking the switch is beneath her. She's WAY too good to be putting one of her precious piggies on a damn light switch. She even makes one of the girls here go to Starbucks every day at 2:45 to get her a grande, skinny, no whip, soy, extra hot, no foam, double pump, soy mocha chocha latte ya ya. If it's not there by 3:00, she has a fit. If it's not hot enough, she has a fit. If the girl isn't here to get it for her, she has a fit. But what pisses me off the MOST about that whole situation? She will be in the establishment right next door to Starbucks at 2:50 and STILL will not get her coffee. She'll be on her way into the office, which is in the same shopping plaza as the Starbucks, close to 3:00 and instead of stopping and getting her own coffee, the girl has to get it for her. Why? Because getting coffee is beneath her too. Fucking hoity toity bitch!

Two women who work here dress like hookers.

Another girl is 19 and says the word LIKE every other word and rolls her eyes when she talks. Her life is so hard and trivial.

Another one talks in a baby voice all of the time. I'm not kidding you when I say that when I hear her, I think there's a small kid in the office.

And there's one who is a health nut. That's fine except when we bring in things to eat she reads the nutritional info and breaks down how horrible the food is. Makes me lose my appetite every time.

*Sigh*

I feel better now.

Deep Throat of the Day: OFF WITH MY UTERUS!

Nosy Bastard & Your Mom's a Stripper

2010-03-17T09:15:00.002-04:00

As I mentioned in my post yesterday, Monday was our (me & Joe) anniversary. Joe had a beautiful bouquet of flowers with an "I Love You" balloon delivered to my job. Unfortunately, I wasn't at work. Why? Because someone brought her sick kid into work who got one coworker sick and then another and now me. Which is exactly why you DON'T BRING YOUR FUCKING SICK KID, SNEEZING AND COUGHING ALL OVER THE PLACE, TO YOUR FUCKING JOB! But I digress.

Apparently, these flowers caused a bit of fuss around the office. See, I somewhat go by 2 different last names. My I.D. and social security card have my married name, even though I'm divorced, but that's a long story. So for work purposes and all other legal purposes, I use that last name. But for everything else, I use my maiden name.

So Joe sent the flowers under my maiden name which is not the name I use at work. But honestly, it's not too hard to figure that they were for me. It was addressed to the company I work for, to my attention. And I'm the only April who works here. Apparently, my boss was so curious to know what the card said that he told the girls that he needed to read the card to see if they were really for me. They all told him NO and then took the flowers from him an put them on my desk.

He then started making comments, "Why would Joe send her flowers to work if he knows she's at home sick?" The girls explained to him that he probably ordered them last week when he obviously wouldn't have known that I would be sick on Monday.

Do you know what he did? He snuck into my office and READ THE FUCKING CARD! At which point he came out and told the girls that he was going to bring the flowers to me at my home. They were furious with him and jumped his shit. Thankfully they convinced him to not bring them to me.

Yesterday when I got here, I asked him why he read my card. His reply, "If I owe you an apology, you should know that I only read the card to determine if you needed to have them right away." WHAT THE FUCK? Who NEEDS flowers right away? I said, "First of all, no one needs flowers right away. Second, if that was your attempt at an apology, it was piss poor. And lastly, what if that card said something personal inside like 'After 2 years I'm finally ready to try butt sex' or something else sexual? It was none of your business and you had no right to read it!" I think the butt sex comment did him in because he just walked away.

In other news, Ethan had a friend spend the night last night. Apparently his mom had to work late. This morning on the way to drop them off at school, I asked the boy what his mom does for work. He said, "Uhhhhhh. Ummmmmmm. (long pause) I don't really know." I said, "Well does she work for the government or in some kind of office setting?" Another long pause........"No, I don't really know what she does." Am I the only one who finds it odd that this 12 y/o boy doesn't have a clue what his mom does for work?

Deep Throat of the Day: Things that make you go HMMMMMMMMMMMMM

It's our anniversary

2010-03-16T07:40:00.002-04:00

Two years ago yesterday, I met the wonderful man known as Joe. I previously documented on this blog one of our first conversations which obviously didn't deter me from staying with him.

These 2 years have been the best I've ever spent with a man. I've been trying to find the best adjective to describe how I feel about our relationship and effortless is the one fits best. I say effortless because we just seem to fit. People always say that relationships take a lot of work, which I was a firm believer in, until I met Joe. It seems that we don't have to put much work into being together because it just seems to come together naturally. Does that make sense?

I could go on and on about how wonderful he is and how happy I am, but I don't want to make you guys puke from all the mushy. Just know that he IS wonderful and I AM happy. Happier than I've ever been. I look forward to many more happy years with this man.

Baby, if you're reading this, Happy Anniversary. I love you more than I could ever express.

Deep Throat of the Day: My cup runneth over.

HNT #1

2010-03-11T09:25:00.004-05:00

I've never participated in HNT on my blog. I'm not sure if I continue to participate that my pics will get any racier than this. But I figure I don't have to show all of my goodies to have a sexy picture, right? Not that it's bad for anyone to show their goodies, I just don't think my man would appreciate me showing the www *my* goodies.

So, I present to you my first HNT picture.......

If you wanna see who else is playing, go visit Osbasso and check his comments.

Deep Throat of the Day: What's that I smell? Is it Spring? WOO HOO!

A wittle sad

2010-03-10T11:31:00.003-05:00

I felt a bit of tears welling up in my eyes when I heard the news this morning that Corey Haim died.

It's not like he's been relevant for the last 20 years or so, but oh man, was I SURE I was going to grow up and marry him. April Haim sounded so perfect to me back then. (So did April Slater and April Cruise, but Christian and Tom are still alive so there's still a possibility for them.) I had plastered my walls with posters of him. I even had one next to my bedroom door that I would kiss every time I left my room. I would buy every issue of Teen Bop and Teen Beat that had posters of him. I was able to look at him all day at school because I even had folders and notebooks with his sexy face on the covers. And true to school girl obsession, I had "I love Corey", "April Haim" and "Corey & April Forever" scribbled all over my school supplies.

He is the reason why, to this day, I have an appreciation for sexy lips.

Let's all give a moment of silence for another child star turned drug addict who died of an overdose. RIP Corey.

Amen.

Backgrounds

2010-03-09T10:25:00.006-05:00

How do you choose which picture, if any, you use for your background on your phone or computer? I choose mine based on the smile factor. The picture should make me smile every time I open my phone (yes, I still have a flip phone) or see my desktop. I wanted to share with you my background pictures.

For my phone I have:

This was taken one day at a party store. They had a wall full of silly glasses that Ethan and I just had to try on. I couldn't help but take a bunch of pictures with my camera phone of us being goofballs. Of course I had to pick the picture of us making our lips puckered like you see all over the interwebs.

For my desktop at work I have:

This was taken over the summer at a friend's party. I edited the photo at Be Funky which I believe was introduced to me by Hubman.

For my desktop at home I have:

This was taken this past December at Joe's company Christmas party. It's his favorite picture of us and also the one he has for his laptop's background. This night was also the first time I've worn a dress since my wedding in 2003.

What's your background picture? How do you decided which one to use?

Deep Throat of the Day: Am I the only one whose jean cuffs curl up?

Yhah brah waaah yah

2010-03-08T08:00:00.001-05:00

Please watch this whole thing and tell me if this isn't the cutest kid you've seen!

I love how he doesn't know a single word to the song, yet you seem to know exactly which song he's singing.

HAPPY MONDAY!

Deep Throat of the Day: How do you get your jeans to not curl up around the cuffs?

Booty booty booty booty rockin' everywhere

2010-03-05T07:30:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I got a phone call at work from the teacher. Great. These calls usually aren't good. He immediately said, "I need your help." He went on to explain that Ethan has done something that would be grounds for suspension but he preferred that we tackle the issue together rather than get the principal involved. He's aware of my issues with the principal from last year which was another reason why he contacted me.

Apparently, the kids were in line for lunch and there was a girl bouncing from the front of the line to the back of the line several times. When the teacher asked her what she was doing, she didn't want to answer him. He pressed on and she finally said, "Ethan's smacking my butt." When the teacher confronted Ethan, he was very honest. He explained that all week there were 3 boys, including himself, and 3 girls playing a butt-smacking game in which the girls smacked the boys and the boys smacked the girls. The teacher talked to the other boys involved and they confirmed Ethan's story. Two of the girls told the teacher they stopped playing the game earlier that day. However, the girl who was bouncing in and out of line denied that there was a game being played at all. She claimed that she told Ethan to stop smacking her butt but he didn't listen. Ethan and the 2 other boys were very upset because they claimed this girl was lying.

The teacher told me that he's been dealing with adolescent boys for a long time and this type of behavior is not unusual, but needs to be corrected. From his experience, the principal usually takes these types of situations to the extreme, when in most cases it can be more effective to talk to the children. Explain how their thoughts and feelings are normal but there's ways that are inappropriate to express them.

He told me that he sat Ethan and the other boys down and explained that at their age and from now on, no matter what the circumstances, they're always going to be at fault. Regardless of how boy-crazy and attention seeking the girl may seem, it's never ok to touch her anywhere, especially on her butt. Then I sat Ethan down and reiterated to him that he's to respect girls and their bodies. I also touched on peer pressure because he obviously felt the need to touch this girl's butt due to the girls initiating this game and his other friends participating. Joe talked to him from a man's perspective, too.

I also shared some stories with him from my school years in which I was humiliated by my peers. After he heard them, I believe he understands that there are many things that aren't fair for girls, too.

All in all, I think the conversations went well. I think he truly understands that even though this girl kept coming back, he was disrespecting her and her body. He understands that he can't participate in games like this because regardless of how unfair it may seem, even though the girls initiated it, the boys will always be at fault. He also understands that he's to treat girls the way he'd want guys to treat his mother. Lesson learned.

What I appreciate is how the teacher handled the situation. He very easily could've turned the boys over to the principal who more than likely would've belittled and suspended them. All the while, they felt like they were playing an innocent game, initiated by the girls.

Deep Throat of the Day: I wish they came with manuals.

Choices and friendship

2010-03-04T09:45:00.004-05:00

(Editors Note: This is an old post I started in 2007 and never finished because I never really knew where I was going with it. I still don't, but I'm going to post it anyway because it seems like an appropriate time for me.)

Choices. We all have them. We all make them. Some good. Some bad. Some indifferent, like choosing what to have for lunch. No one really cares, but they're choices nonetheless. I have no doubt in my mind that every single one of us have somewhere down the line made a choice that has been considered a bad one. As a person who has made quite a few bad choices, life changing ones at that, I understand fully that there are many consequences that come along with these bad choices. All of which I've had to face. I've found that it's helped the most when people were supportive during this time and didn't find the need to say, "I told you so", "That's what you get" or "You deserve to be miserable when this turns out bad again" etc.

Sometimes we continue to make the same bad choice over and over again, each time expecting a different, better result. Most of the times we know that the choice we're making probably isn't the best one, but we try. We try for hope, love, happiness, second chances, whatever the reason we put our heart and soul into the situation and we try. This is where friendship comes in.

As a friend, sitting back and watching someone you care about continue to make choices that you think are bad for them is very hard. It's hard not to say everything that's on your mind for fear of not sounding supportive. But being supportive is what a good friend does. Because it's not your life and they're not your choices. Sure the outcome may seem inevitable to you, but you never know. Most importantly, your friend needs to realize on his/her own that the choice is wrong.

You don't need to lie or be mean. You can always say, "I don't think you're making the right decision." But if you truly value your friendship with someone, you stick by their side no matter what. You'll be there when they fall, pick them up, dust them off, and offer an ear or shoulder. If they turn right around and go back into the situation that made them fall, just shake your head, say what you need, and be ready for the next fall yet hope for a better outcome. After a while that falling is going to start making an impact. A big enough impact to cause reconsideration the next time they think about heading back into that situation. And hopefully, you'll still be by their side no matter what. Because that's what a good friend does.

I know when I continued to stay in my domestic violence filled marriage, I needed my good friends to be there for me. I know they hated that I stayed with him, but they stuck by me and my choices. When I finally realized that loving someone wasn't enough to keep getting beaten, I left. And my friends were still there, offering their hands to pick me up.

In other news, my buddy Hubman is the proud owner of his own web domain. If you have him on your blogroll, don't forget to update it to the new addy. If you don't have him, well why not? Get on it!

Deep Throat of the Day: Do you hear the Golden Girls theme song too? Thank you for being a friend....traveled down the road and back again...

Why I couldn't be a Feminist

2010-03-02T08:00:00.002-05:00

Lately I've been reading the writings from many different Feminists I've found across the web. I wanted to see if many of them shared the same view points that I disagree with or if it was the select few that I read daily who have these views. What I found is that most of them all wrote along the same lines as each other and shared the same views. And I've determined that I could never be a feminist. Here's why: (This is not a personal attack against anyone or Feminists, just a list of why *I* couldn't identify as a Feminist.)

I would never want leave my house if I walked around with the mentality that "every man is a potential rapist".

I would never want to leave my house because I'd get really pissed at any man who checked me out. How dare you check me out! I'm not a sexual object!!!

I would have a hard time shopping because too many stores objectify women in their ads and I wouldn't want to support that store by giving them my money.

I would never again want to watch movies (especially Disney) or television, read blogs, join Facebook, Twitter, etc. if I found racism, sexism, rape culture, transism, misogynistic comments, and violence in EVERYTHING regardless of how far-fetched it seemed to others. Unless of course the movies, t.v. shows, blogs, Facebook pages, and Tweets were by others who thought like me.

I would have to ignore how far our country has come with civil and women's rights and act like we're still living in the 1950's.

I would feel like everyone's a racist in the United States.

I would diminish the accomplishments of caucasians by saying their accomplishments were achieved due to the privilege they were born with.

I would discount the accomplishments of minorities by saying they're the exceptions to their under-privilege.

I would hate myself for identifying with the gender I was born with, even though I called myself a feminist. Yet I'd somehow still be proud to be a woman.

I would fight for everyone's equality while still labeling and categorizing everyone.

I would feel guilty for wanting to find a man to share my life with and I wouldn't know which desire I wanted more; to be a strong independent woman or find someone to love because I'm not quite sure I can do both.

I'd feel even more guilty if I DID choose to find love. I'd love to cook and clean for him because even though it makes ME feel good to do those things, that's just going against the Feminist Movement.

And what if he wanted me to have babies? I wouldn't know what to do! Should I be mad at him for thinking that just because I'm a woman and have uterus, I want to have babies? Or should I accept that a wonderful part of being a woman is that I can have babies?

Say I chose to have a baby. I wouldn't know what to do when it came to making a choice between being a working mom or a stay at home mom. I mean, the differing views Feminists have on this would just boggle my mind. I don't think I'd be right with either decision.

Sheew! Life would be confusing.

Deep Throat of the Day: Is there anything in between?

Crossed the line

2010-02-26T07:00:00.001-05:00

Before Myspace became a cesspool for all that's RoNg WiT aRe (spelled like that on purpose which I hope you picked up on) youth, I had an account. I got annoyed with attempting to read werdz spelt rongz n iN fUcKd Up LeTtErZ. I actually still have an account, but I rarely log on. The only time I do is when I want to see if my sister has put up any new pictures of my nephews. I was then persuaded to follow the flock to Facebook. (I still refuse to use Twitter) I enjoy my Facebook account because it actually seems like a place for adults to communicate via the web. This is why when Ethan asked me if he could create a Facebook page, I said, "NO!" (in addition to denying Myspace)

He continued to ask me several times, to which my reply was the same. I ended up caving when he showed me that all of his friends have a Facebook page. If you've read my post on cell phones for kids you already know that I'm not the parent who gives in just because "everyone else is doing it". But I thought long and hard about it and decided that it wouldn't be a such a bad thing. After all, I can monitor his page, his friends, and how much time he spends on the site.

The privilege (there's that word again) of belonging to a social networking site came with several rules for him. Aside from the time limits and being nice rules, I told him the following:
*He's not allowed to accept friend requests from anyone he doesn't know. And by "know" I mean actually have met in person.
*He's not to send or reply to messages from anyone he doesn't know.
*He's not to play any games that interact with other people who he doesn't know.
*He's not to give out any personal information to anyone without asking me first. (For example, if one of his friend's asks for his number, he needs to come to me.)
*He's not to accept or send friend requests to any adults, including myself.

I added the last rule because as I mentioned before, to me, Facebook is a nice place for ADULTS to communicate. I do not want messages on my wall from my 11 y/o son and I do not want him leaving other adults messages either. Sure some people may find it cute, but I'm not one of those people. I actually just got a friend request from a former neighbor's 10 y/o son. And I don't know what to do! I don't want to accept him as a friend but I don't want to be rude and decline him either. It's this very position that I don't want my son putting other adults into.

I wish social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace would have a separate section for tweens/teens. This way they could still be part of the network, but they'd still be separate. They wouldn't be able to interact with the grown-ups and vice versa.

Deep Throat of the Day: DON'T BRING YOUR SICK KID TO WORK! (I know some of you have already heard me complain about this, but I'm still chapped about it.)

What would you do?

2010-02-25T09:19:00.004-05:00

I wanted to ask what you guys would do in the following situation.

Your child spends the night at a friend's house. The friend's name is G and there's another friend who also spent the night, named J. The next day, G's parents leave the children at home with G's 17 y/o sister. The sister let's the children go outside to play in the snow. They pack a bag with some drinks and for some reason, G decides he's going to bring his PSP with them. On their way back from playing they throw all of the drinks in the bag along with the PSP. Your child didn't close the top tight enough on his drink and it leaks out into the bag. Now G's PSP is broken. What would you do?

Privileged

2010-02-21T20:16:00.007-05:00

Before I get to the main post, I want to share a quick story with you.

When I was in kindergarten we had a mean substitute teacher fill in for our teacher who was sick. That day more than half the class had their names on the board for being bad, according to the sub. It was a rare occasion to have any names on the board and mine had never made it on there until that day. While we were out for recess, I asked the sub if I could use the bathroom. She looked at me with a mean face and said, "No. Using the bathroom is a privilege, not a right." I asked again when we got back to the classroom and she replied, "No, April. See your name up here? You lost your privilege to use the bathroom, so stop asking me." I ended up shitting my pants. I didn't tell a single person that I shit my pants until I got home, although I'm certain someone had to smell it. I started crying and told my mom what the sub said and then apologized because I couldn't hold it in anymore. She was furious and wrote a note to the principal and we never saw that mean sub again.

Now on to the post.

I was reading Britni's post about privilege which was in response to a post from Champagne and Benzedrine. After reading through all of the comments, I was inspired to write a post.

I found myself *mostly* agreeing with Champagne and Benzedrine (CB from here on out) after I actually read his comments and whole post and not just the select excerpts Britni chose, which honestly made him look bad at first. The reason why I'm agreeing with him is complicated and I'm not sure that I can articulate it well, but I'm going to try.

In the comments, the people who sided with Britni basically just wanted CB to acknowledge that privilege does exist, which he did. To which he asked, "I recognize my privilege. What the fuck do you expect me to do?" One response was that he should recognize that because he has a penis he'll always be seen as more serious in the workplace than someone with a vagina. Another was, "We expect you to use that knowledge to be respectful to people who don’t have the same privileges." Here's where I take issue.

Who knows CB to say that he isn't respectful to others who don't have the same privileges as him? Who knows him to say that he doesn't recognize that in some workplaces, men are taken more seriously than women? Who knows him to say that he is privileged? I suppose that because he's a white male, it's assumed he has privilege. Here is where I take issue with privilege.

Now, I can only speak on white privilege because, well, I'm white. My whiteness couldn't get me any assistance from the government when I needed a little financial help go to college. The same help that I would've gotten had I been a minority. My whiteness almost didn't get me medical assistance when I got pregnant with my son because the black lady who had to approve my assistance couldn't understand why, "A little white girl who is the daughter of a school board worker couldn't afford to have her own insurance." (yes, those were her exact words) My whiteness didn't get me not one, not two, but THREE different promotions at the same company even though I was more qualified than the three minority women they gave the promotions to. BUT, I'm most certainly not complaining because I'm sure that's nothing compared to the struggles that minorities face. Please do not misconstrue what I'm saying.

I can also say that I've never been made to feel inferior to a man in a workplace and I've never lost a job to a man. Therefore, I'm not going stress the "male privilege" because it's not something I've had to deal with.

The point I'm trying to make is that drive and determination do not see color, sex or religion. Anyone can truly do anything they set their mind to. And I truly believe that by having groups continuing to force the issue of privilege, we'll continue to have privilege. When you tell a child of a minority that they don't have the same privileges as a white man, well then, that child isn't going to know any different, now is he? Using terms like privilege just keeps people down, even when you use the term because you're trying to eliminate it. I know many successful people from many different backgrounds and these people are not the exceptions.

The problem with using the term privilege was summed up best by CB in the comments of his post linked above. "Privilege is a bullshit notion because it doesn't mean or achieve anything. The people who decide who is and isn't privileged aren't qualified to do so. No offense, but people like you and I really should steer clear of accusing people of any form of privilege because it's wildly hypocritical. Ultimately, we should be looking to live in a society in which people look beyond race, or gender, or sexuality and are TRULY equal rather than trying to buoy up one demographic and denigrate another with a flawed system of social conscience."

I believe the issue isn't privilege. The issues are racism, sexism, and any other ism you want to put in there. (Is transism a word? If not, I want to coin it) When you start throwing the words privileged and underprivileged around, you start to make people feel bad for being born into what ever privilege or under-privilege you think they have. Or at least it seems that you're trying to make that person feel bad who supposedly has privilege because it's often used negatively. When in fact, the problem isn't that that person needs to recognize that he/she has some privilege that you deemed them to have. The problem is that there are racists and sexists who feel that white men can do the job better than a woman or minority. Those are the people you need to target.

Another person commented on Britni's post saying that people are throwing the word privilege around like it's an insult and she's most certainly right. The same thing with calling someone cisgendered. When I read posts that refer to someone as cisgendered, it's almost always in a negative connotation. So what does this mean when used negatively? Am I supposed feel bad about myself because I happily identify with the gender I was born with? I'm sure the answer to this is, "We just want you to recognize that there are people who do not identify with the gender they were born with." I can say I recognize it until I'm blue in the face but I don't believe recognition is what's really wanted. What's wanted is for me to join the cause. Can I still accept that there are transgendered people without fighting for their equality? Is it not enough for me to just treat them as my equal like I do everyone? Or does that make me a transphobe?

On another post of Britni's she posted a Cis-Privilege Bingo card that has statements in quotations which supposedly show how someone can demonstrate their "cis-privilege". I could certainly see how some of them are inappropriate to say but I found many of them to be ridiculous. One in particular struck a nerve with me. "My taxpayer's dollars shouldn't have to pay for someone's personal choice." How is this demonstrating cis-privilege? I don't want my tax money to pay for someone's nose job, boob job or gastric bypass either. Does that mean that I dislike people with messed up noses, small boobs or are morbidly obese? Or does it mean that I have more privilege than those people because my nose and boobs are fine and I'm height/weight proportioned? And if it does mean that am I just supposed to be happy about my hard earned money going to their surgeries?

If you state that you use the term privilege because you want it to go away and you want everyone to be treated fairly, then stop using the term. Stop telling white men they're privileged. Stop telling minorities they're underprivileged. Stop putting people into categories and labeling them just because of their skin color, sex, gender, religion, etc. Because as far as I can tell, doing this is only keeping people in those categories. Not only that but not all white men or white women have the same privileges. Just like not all minorities have the same under-privileges. There's so many different factors that go into privilege that you cannot just label "privileged" or "underprivileged" on people as you see them.

I believe that by using terms like privilege and cisgender, especially negatively, people are just creating more lines and distinctions. Is there a fight that still needs to be fought for equality? Absolutely. But it's not about placing a "privileged" label on every white man or woman just because you feel they have privilege. Like I mentioned, the people who need to be blamed for causing people to have "privilege" or to be "underprivileged" in the first place are the people who are racists and sexists.

Deep Throat of the Day: Yeah, I shit my pants. So what? =)

Face down, ass up

2010-02-18T09:55:00.003-05:00

I don't know if any of you have seen this video of Lady Gaga BEFORE she was all famous and fabulously out there. I watched it the other day and was just amazed by the first song she played. I really wish she'd make more songs like this. The video is 7 minutes long, but I promise you the first half is worth listening to. Tell me what you guys think.

In other news, I had a wonderful birthday/Valentine's Day weekend. Joe shows me every day how much he loves me and this past weekend was no exception. I'm such a lucky girl!

This morning, I won tickets to see John Mayer! I know he's been getting some bad publicity lately but I'm still stoked to go see him sing. Even though his facial expressions make him look like a heroin addict giving himself an enema....

Deep Throat of the Day: It's no mistake that man's best friend can't talk. hee hee.

February 13, 1978

2010-02-13T08:05:00.002-05:00

Reflection

2010-02-12T08:11:00.004-05:00

With today being the eve of my birthday, I've been thinking about how my life has panned out over my adulthood. I've made some poor decisions and some great ones and I've experienced good times and bad times. Fortunately, I'm smart enough to look at everything as a learning experience. I've been able to grow and find who I am, what I like, and what I want and need out of life.

However, there is something new about myself that I realized. I moved to Virginia from Florida in early August of 2000. I've always called Florida home because I never really felt like I belonged here. I've always felt different than the other people I met here. Maybe it was because I moved to a very small, country town which was VERY different than where I came from? Maybe it's because everyone who lives there has lived there their whole lives and already had their clicks of friends? I'm not sure exactly what caused me to feel that way, but I felt that way nonetheless. I wanted to feel like I belonged. I tried making friends with the women my ex-husband was friends with. I went to their bridal showers and baby showers, but that sense of belonging never came to be.

After I left my ex-husband, I seriously considered moving back to Florida. But I moved here because I wanted my son to grow up near my mom, step-dad and 3 little sisters. I wanted him to have the family values that I didn't have growing up. I wasn't going to let my feelings take over the real reason why I moved here.

I moved in with Joe over a year ago and got out of the small town. I now live in a different, much bigger, city that's still close to my mom, with a man who has great friends. Friends who have welcomed me into their circle with open arms. Friends who come over for dinner and barbecue's on a random day and not because it's a special occasion.

I finally feel like I belong. Virginia is my home. Regardless of my hatred for the winter and all of this damn snow, I'm where I'm supposed to be. My heart and mind are happy right where I'm at, home. And it feels damn good.

Deep Throat of the Day: Home is more than just were the heart is.

I'm back......

2010-02-11T12:28:00.003-05:00

Sorry for my writing hiatus. Between things going on in my personal life and my general lack of writing material, I've obviously not written anything in a while. If it wasn't for Hubman's birthday last month, I wouldn't have written anything in like forever.

So, what's new with me? Hmmm, well, the first thing is that I quit smoking. Well, maybe I should say that I've replaced smoking traditional cigarettes with electronic cigarettes. Electronic cigarettes give me the nicotine that I crave and love so much without the over 4,000 chemicals and tar found in traditional cigarettes. There's no second hand smoke, only a water vapor emitted into the air. No nasty carcinogenic smoke filling my lungs. No nasty smell. No teeth yellowing. No anything yucky and bad. Sure, nicotine has a few negatives but nothing that causes cancer or makes me stink.

I had a love/hate relationship with cigarettes. I loved the satisfaction I received from smoking them. However I hated stinking and going outside in the rain/freezing cold/bad weather in general. I hated the negative impact it had on my health. I hated feeling embarrassed that I was a smoker and often hid it from people who I knew wouldn't approve. But most of all I hated that my son knew I was a smoker. Now, I can keep the love portion and discard the hate. The electronic cigarette has officially helped me quit smoking! WOO HOO!

Also, this past Monday (2/8/10) was officially 8 years since I had my foot cut off. Let's all bow our heads for a moment of silence and pray that my foot is up in amputated limb heaven, kicking ass and taking names. ................................................................................................................................................Amen.

What else?? OH, Saturday (2/13/10) is my BIRTHDAY!!! I'll officially be 22+10. I don't know what Joe has planned for me, but I'm sure it'll be great because he's such a wonderful boyfriend (of almost of 2 years in March!).

We've also gotten an insane amount of snow this past week. It's ridiculous, really. I don't know how people in the far north deal with this shit on a daily basis. There's just SO MUCH of it. Mother nature is a fucking douche bag! Although she did help Ethan, the little entrepreneur that is he, go out and made $52 by shoveling our neighbors driveways.

Anyway, I'm back. I'll certainly be writing more frequently and visiting your blogs again. Please don't hate me because I've not forgotten about all of you. I just hope that you haven't forgotten about me.

I hope you're all (if you're still reading this) doing well!

Deep Throat of the Day: Snowed in = lots of sex. There is a positive to it I suppose.

They say it's your birthday

2010-01-24T14:31:00.002-05:00

I would like to wish my friend, Hubman, a Happy 40th Birthday! I promise you don't look a day over 25!

If you get a chance, please go over and wish him a Happy Birthday, too!

On a separate note, I suck at keeping up with this blog. It's not that I don't have time, I just haven't thought of much to say. There's been some things going on with me that concerned me, but they're ok according to the doctor. Other than that, Me, Ethan and Joe are all doing well.

I promise I'll write more soon. Very soon! I hope all is well with everyone!